


Blind Luck 1: The Way Out

by onkoona



Series: Blind Luck [1]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-07-21
Packaged: 2017-10-10 17:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onkoona/pseuds/onkoona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will a man who is lost in darkness find his way home? This story is finnished and consists of 7 chapter. Rating: PG-13 or T for minor violence. Please review, but be kind; this is my very first story. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Blind Luck  
> by Onkoona

  


_Some author notes:_

_Many many thanks to my beta Amarthame, for never letting me get away with anything!_

_Lots of people have reviewed and faved this story! Thank you so much; I'm tickled pink you liked it!_

_I'm working on part 2 of this; it's about 2/3rds along now and already twice the word count of this one. Writing is going very slowly because I have problems with beta availability; unlike me, they actually have a life!  
_

_Errata: For those who have already read this story, I was mistaken about a character's name of one of the members of the Heart of stone Go club. I had remembered the older man as being Doumoto but his name should be Soga. This is now fixed, so I've re-upped the chapters involved. I've also tried to reformat chapter one to my preferred format. Only upping it will tell if FF hasn't changed me back again! ;-)_

_If you're new to the story: Enjoy! And don't forget to review!_

_\-----------------------------_

**Blind Luck**

**by Onkoona**

_Hikaru no Go and it's characters belong to their makers, I'm just borrowing them for a while._

Prologue

It was totally dark. He was standing on a hard surface, and he was sure he was outside because he could feel the gentle breeze lapping against his side. It brought the soft scent of summer, but there were other harsher smells as well. He knew he had smelled nothing like it before.

But the sounds he heard were not strange to him. Odd yes, but not unfamiliar. There was bzzting and prrting and pshting that he could not place. More familiar were the crickets chirping. And birds, he could hear birds, and the wind in the trees.

Then he remembered he had to find _him_; it was imperative that he find _him_ , and he started walking with his hands outstretched in front of him. He tried to remember who it was he was supposed to find, and where it was he was supposed to go. His mind came up blank, and he stopped walking, trying to order his thoughts.

Suddenly the tranquility of the space was broken when a very large, loud object whizzed by his side and someone yelled, '/Baka/, watch where you're going!' from off to his left.

The wind the large object had created nearly pushed him off his feet, and he stumbled forward in a panic, trying to find the source of the voice.

'Help, I am lost!' was all he could call out before there was a mighty screeching sound and another big, fast-moving and hard object hit him; his left side exploded in pain. He had just enough time to comment to himself that now the black world seemed to turn a bright red before it all faded away and he was lost in unconsciousness.

1.

One year later.

He tapped his way along the route, heading to where he had left off last time. He had heard the sounds of a possible shopping street further along his chosen path yesterday, but it had been too late in the day to go exploring there. Now it was only - he opened his watch to feel the hands - 10:30. He'd be free to explore until 4:30 and still make it back in time for dinner.

As he swept his cane before him, he eagerly anticipated what he might find on this new street, amusing himself with imagining the possibilities.

He came upon what smelled like a fruit vendor to his left. He stopped to listen. He was now on the shopping street he had heard earlier. It wasn't very big; he guessed it was just along the X that the intersection made, hidden among the tall buildings that oddly echoed the sounds of lively commerce going on at ground level. He didn't hear a traffic light clicker, but from the sounds of the cars breaking and starting up again he guessed there were traffic lights. He had been through quite a number of these shopping streets on his travels through Tokyo before, and they were basically all the same.

'Hello there,' a young female voice greeted him from near the fruit stand. Ah, a friendly voice.

He turned around towards the sound. He bowed.

'Good morning, miss.' He always tried to be polite, he knew that worked best.

She giggled.

'How do you know I'm a 'miss'?'

'You sound young. Am I wrong? I do apologize sincerely if I'm wrong.'

'Oh no, not far wrong, I've only been married a year.'

She paused as if thinking.

'I've never seen you here before...?'

'No, ma'am, it's my first time here. Can you tell me a little about where I am?'

'Of course.' She proceeded to tell him it was indeed an intersection shopping centre, that there were indeed traffic lights, without a clicker request system. And she told him about the different shops. He thanked her and was about to start exploring again when he felt her pushing something into his left hand. This was not a uncommon occurrence, what with the way he looked and his obvious blindness. Often he was given bits of food or a few coins, by people he met along his way. He was aware it was also a signal. It meant 'move along now please', though he was pretty sure it hadn't been meant as such in this case. It was an apple, big one too. He thanked her sincerely and put it into his bag. It would make a good lunch. He politely said goodbye and continued on his way.

He explored all sides of the X, making sure he crossed the streets well away from the traffic lights.

Lights without a clicker system were a nuisance to him, because the cars didn't expect a person crossing who could not see the lights change. Drivers had a tendency to follow the lights 'blindly', leaving a blind man to become road kill.

As he came back to the crossing, he only had the street straight across from the fruit stall left. As he explored he heard a /pachie/ noise ricocheting off a building.

He stopped. /Pachie/. He was sure he had never heard this sound before, but it was so familiar to him, his face creased up into a frown trying to identify it's source. /Pachie/.

The annoying mystery compelled him to go on, and he turned into the direction of the sound, following it. /Pachie/. It led him to a building with a open door. It was the type of building that had shops at ground floor, small offices or clubs on the first few floors, and apartments higher up. He was sure the sound came from an open window, a few stories up.

He entered the building and found the usual small concrete lobby space with the expected set of elevator doors.

He wasn't about to go on a strange elevator, so he looked for the stairs. There were always stairs. He found them to his right. He was less likely to get lost on stairs, even though they were harder to traverse. But knowing he had time to go as slowly and as cautiously as he needed, he opened the door to the stairs and went up one fight. He checked outside the stairwell door. He heard nothing here. He went up another flight.

After three tries he found the right place. He came in and realized he had stepped into a club of some kind. It was moderately smoky, and he could also smell fresh coffee and lunch fare. It was definitely where the sounds had come from, for here the /PACHIE/s echoed against the walls.

He was deliberating whether he should follow his curiosity into this club or whether he should leave before he got into trouble. The decision was made for him when he heard a loud woman's voice come at him from his right.

'What are you doing here, sonny?' He winced at the sharp sound of her shrill voice and turned her way.

'Excuse me, ma'am, can you tell me what kind of place this is?'

The lady grunted.

'It's a Go club. They play Go here.'

/A Go club./ It sounded so familiar, but to his frustration he could not place it.

'It's not for you, sonny, you'd better go.'

/She's probably right,/ he thought, and sighed.

He was about to turn around when someone came near him.

'Hey Auntie, who have we here?' The voice was male and older.

He bowed, 'My name is Mayo*.' He didn't like to say his name because of the reaction it always got.

'You are 'Lost'?' the man asked.

He gripped his cane a little harder and prepared himself to run off his standard introductory speech.

'I lost my memory and my vision in an accident a year ago. Just before the accident someone heard me shouting that I was lost. It became my nickname, and, since then, I have found nothing better to use...' He shrugged his shoulders. The speech was well rehearsed and concise and usually it satisfied the listener, but the reminder of his circumstances hurt nonetheless. He let the wave of loneliness gush over him, without trying to quell it, knowing nothing would stop its progression.

'I see,' the man said, in no way acknowledging the pun he had just made, for which Mayo was very grateful.

'Come on in...' The man invited. The blind man was pleasantly surprised at the invitation; he knew what he looked like, after all. He merrily accepted it.

The lady to Mayo's side sputtered. 'But what about the fee? And really, you can't let _that_ come in here!'

Mayo hesitated, his heart giving a painful squeeze; he had heard this before, this is where he usually got thrown out. He slowly backed away towards the door and said,

'I'm sorry, I have no money... Maybe I should leave...?'

'Don't be silly! I'm the owner here, so what I say goes. Welcome to the Heart of Stone!'

The owner led him further inside. He asked, 'Have you had lunch yet?'

'Uh no,' he hunted in his bag and brought out the apple, 'I'm having this for lunch.'

'Grumpf,' the owner said, 'we can do better than that! I know what it's like to have an empty belly, and yours looks plenty empty to me.'

Mayo thanked him and was guided to a seat where he folded his cane and secured it with a Velcro strap with one practiced move, before sitting down. The owner put a warm bowl in the blind man's left hand. Chopsticks appeared, touching his right hand. He dropped his folded cane to let the bundle swing from the strap around his wrist, so he could grab the wooden utensils.

'Thank you,' Mayo bowed.

Pretty soon Mayo was clearing the bowl of rice and vegetables, and the perpetually empty space in his belly was, for the moment, filled.

After he was finished with his food and put the bowl and chopsticks on the table in front of him, he listened for the owner's voice, and heard it somewhere off to his right, talking to someone animatedly. It was too far away from him to hear what was being said, but from the tone he could tell the owner was trying to convince the other of something.

Mayo decided to wait for the owner to come back, so he could thank him again for the meal and make his goodbyes. He knew what outstaying his welcome might mean, having learned to navigate that tricky limit the hard way. He'd rather leave too soon than too late. As he waited patiently and hoped the man would be back soon, a bud of worry started to grow in his full stomach, getting ready to sour the food.

He listened to the uneven rhythm of the /pachie/ sounds, counterpointed by the murmur of voices all around him, for a while. Still he couldn't place that sound. Trying to figure it out kept his mind off his worried thoughts and helped to keep him calm.

Then he heard a twin set of footsteps approach.

'Take-san, this is the only board left, but I don't want sit near _that_,' a male voice complained in a whiney tone. Mayo tensed up, fearing trouble.

'The owner said to leave him be, so leave him be.' The other sounded older, nicer. A chair scraped across the floor.

'Well, I'm sitting over here,' Whiney stated, pulling his chair a little away from Mayo.

Things like this had happened to Mayo a thousand times before, but still shame chilled his insides every time.

They took seats at opposite sides of his table. He was sitting at the head as it were, with the two men now at his left and right hand.

'Nigiri?' asked Take.

There was the noise of pebbles being touched together and then some being dropped on a wooden surface. It sounded so eerily familiar to him, it almost made his skin crawl.

Then the pebbles were counted and something was exchanged high over the table.

Mayo carefully let his hand touch the table. A plastic tabletop. So where was the wood?

/PACHIE/. The sound came from higher than the table surface, he felt sure. His hand explored farther and ran into a stout wooden leg. He followed it upwards to the wooden block it was supporting. His mind instantly supplied an image and a name; it was a Goban. Back and white stones appeared in his mind's eye and...

'Hey you, don't touch the board!'

Mayo started and moved backwards in his chair so fast it jumped, making a screeching sound against the ground.

A figure appeared behind his chair. Mayo held himself perfectly still.

'What's going on?' It was the owner. Mayo exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he had held.

'Sorry, I touched the Goban.' Mayo explained.

The two players resumed their game. /PACHIE/

'You know what it is?'

'Yes, I recognized its shape.' Mayo said, absentmindedly. /PACHIE/ He wanted to see the game, he wanted to know what moves were played. /PACHIE/

'Please sir, could you tell me where they are playing?' he pleaded to the owner.

/PACHIE/

'You know Go?'

That question made Mayo pay full attention to the owner again. He looked at the Goban still floating in his mind's eye, critically. He realized that the clarity of the image must have come a memory from before his accident; he couldn't explain it in any other way.

'Yes, I remember it; I think I must have played Go... before.'

/PACHIE/.

The owner was still for a moment while Mayo gave him what he hoped was a pleading look. He so wanted to know what was being played.

Mayo's heart plummeted when the man said,

'I don't know how to tell you where they are playing... Sorry.'

Mayo felt his disappointment keenly but as the 19x19 grid was still in his mind, he had an idea, and he explained it eagerly to the owner. As he told him about the co-ordinate system, the numbers added themselves to his inner Goban.

The owner started to call out the co-ordinates; Mayo could now easily follow the game. But after 10 minutes the two players were complaining about the distraction of the noise and the owner was forced to stop. Mayo could have cried at the letdown, but tried his best not to show it.

'How about we play a game?' the owner suggested.

Mayo clapped his hands in happiness.

'Yes, please!'

The man guided Mayo to another table and helped him sit. He himself sat across from him and asked,

'Nigiri?'

'Uh, either color is fine by me,' Mayo said.

'Okay, you play black then.' In Mayo's head ran a cheerful loop going: /I'm going to play Go!-I'm going to play Go!-I'm going to play Go!/ He didn't know how he knew it was going to be fun, he just knew it was and left it at that, enjoying the ride immensely.

'Hey, you're gonna play a blind man?' The new voice was older than the owner.

'Uhhun Soga-san, sit down; I wanna see how far he'll get...' The newcomer sat down to Mayo's right. 'Never mind me, son, I'm just here to watch,' The older man said. Mayo wasn't too sure liked the idea of an audience, but if he protested the owner might cancel the game, so he kept silent.

'You're first, go ahead,' the owner encouraged the blind man.

Mayo thought hard. The gird in his head was lit up and all he needed was... A point on the grid shone brightly.

'16-4, /hoshi/.' Mayo was surprised at the steadiness of his own voice. He hadn't even had to count out the location, he had just known. And he had known the correct term to use, too. It sounded so right, coming out of his mouth.

/PACHIE/, his stone hit the board.

'White plays 16-16.' the owner's voice was strong and clear. The white stone appeared on Mayo's imaginary Goban.

'16-17,' he said. /PACHIE/ It appeared.

As the game grew in his head he started to smile and think ahead what moves might be interesting. As he tried out many different moves, they called to mind other possible games where such moves might be played.

'I resign.'

Mayo was startled at the abrupt ending of the game. He had won? They hadn't played that many hands yet, had they? He glanced over the board in his mind one more time and realized that white was indeed dead. He couldn't quite believe it; his very first game and he had won.

'Thank you for the game,' he said and bowed, hoping to hide the happy amazement that he suspected was clearly written on his face. He knew his emotions could easily been seen by everyone but himself, and that showing any form of weakness might cost him dearly. He hoped that here, where people liked to play Go, taking pride in winning was acceptable.

'That was very satisfying.' Playing the game had been the most satisfying thing he ever recalled doing, even if it had felt little short.

'Want to do another?' he asked eagerly.

'Uh, well, you are really quite strong, you know...'

/Strong?/ A anxious feeling ran through him; strong was good, right?

'Am I?'

'I can see he is strong; let me play him.' Soga-san interrupted impatiently.

'Mayo-kun, do you want to play Soga-san?'

Play again? Oh yes, more than anything!

'Yes, please!'

Playing Soga-san lasted longer, because Mayo decided to draw out the game by giving his opponent more openings. He didn't disrespect the older man in any way, he just wanted to play longer. They played it out until there was no move left to play.

'Lost by 33 moku,' the man pouted.

Should he have let the guy catch up more? Or even let him win?

'Sorry,' Mayo started to say.

'Don't apologize for winning, sonny, I'd feel insulted.'

'Sorry,' Mayo said again, feeling a little less guilty for winning the game so spectacularly.

'Grumpf,' said the old man, 'you're not a pro or anything, are you?'

He was no-one, he was nothing. Just lost in the dark. Mayo hung his head and said,

'I don't know, I don't remember anything before the accident...' He felt tears come but willed them away.

'Soga-san, please, lay off him will ya?'

'Grumpf, well, okay.'

The reminder of his non-existent past hurt, as it always did. It made him feel very small in a very large world.

Mayo sat feeling miserable for a few minutes. Then the old man said,

'I will play you again, young man, and the right handicap for me should be 3 stones.' Mayo heard startled gasps, indicating that there was now quite a crowd gathered around them. It made him uneasy. He never liked to be the centre of attention; very seldom anything good came of it, and it made it very hard to just slip out if things went wrong.

He opened his wrist watch to check the time. 2:30.

'I can only play 2 more hours, then I must go home,' he said.

'Okay then. Owner, put two hours on the clock. Let's play.'

Soga-san claimed 3 out of 4 corner stars for his handicap, and the game was off and rolling.

The old man lost by 21 stones. Mayo almost apologized again when he said,

'Grumpf, I guess it'll be 5 stones for me next time.'

Requests to play him came from all sides now. The blind man felt quite flattered. He would happily play anyone who wanted to play him.

He checked the time again. 4:25. So late already? He realized he was going to have to disappoint them, and himself too. He got up and unfolded his cane.

'I'm sorry, I have to get going.'

'Can you come again tomorrow? I'll let you play for free,' the owner asked, '...if you'd like to, that is?'

A surge of warmth went through at the thought, to play more games all day tomorrow, he wanted that more than anything!

'Yes, I'd like to,' Mayo assured him, 'I'll be here.'

He floated all the way back, he was so happy. He kept half his mind on the route and traffic and with the rest he replayed each game again and again, savoring every move and counter move.

~o(O)o~

*note: I researched the choosing of Mayo's name as best I could, with help from scriptwaretranslations and agoodcupoftea. I, of couse, was stubborn and did it my way.

'Mayo', hopefully, refers to being lost or bewildered.

  



	2. Chapter 2

2.

 

The next morning he was at the door of the Go-club, but to his disappointment it wouldn't open. There was a machine noise inside, but no play sounds. He knocked. The noise stopped. The door opened.

'What are you doing here?' Auntie's voice. Mayo took a step back instinctively. He knew that she had the power to make sure he never played here again, so he was on his best behavior with her.

He bowed and said,

'Good morning, ma'am. Uh, the owner invited me back yesterday...?'

'You're too early, club doesn't open until 11, go away, I've got hoovering to do!'

The door closed and the noise started up again.

 

Mayo made his way back to street level with a rejected feeling. Then he took heart, telling himself he could while away the time thinking about the games he had played and what variation he could have made and their possible outcome. It was bound to keep him busy until opening time.

As he knew standing in one place could attract unwanted attention, he decided to go by the fruit stand again, even though he'd have to walk a good ways away from the crossing before attempting to cross the street.

The girl from yesterday was not there, so he stood smelling the fruit for a few minutes and then took the long way back.

 

The owner welcomed him with open arms and enticed him with a choice of tea or coffee and a handful of very sweet cookies that had bits of ginger root in them. Mayo washed them all down with green tea, thanking the man profusely. He was genuinely grateful for the owner's generosity.

 

There had been some remarks here and there about Mayo's appearance, but none were to his face or even within normal hearing distance. Mayo didn't like it, but he knew however much he tried to keep up his appearance, his clothes would never do, because while they were as clean as possible, they were hopelessly worn, and people would inevitably comment on them behind his back.

He didn't get much time to feel ashamed; as the games started and he forgot everything else in the thrill of the simulated battles.

 

Mostly he played with handicaps of 6 or 7. The other patrons had pretty much collectively said that if Soga-san already needed a 5 stone handicap, a 6 or 7 (or even 10 for one man with a soft voice) would be the least.

He played all day, winning all his games. With every game he played he felt he was getting more out of his moves, and he started to try out more complicated gambits.

 

They fed him lunch and he was the centre of attention once again, especially when he had offered to review the game last played.

All this attention worried him somewhat, especially as he wasn't sure just how many people were there, but he was not getting any hostile vibes from anyone and he really wanted to play more games, so he tabled his concerns and enjoyed his domination of the Goban.

 

He hadn't known that he was able to review a game until he was actually doing it. He found he could replay the game in his head, or play it backwards. It was very much like being tossed into the water and only then realising you're an Olympic swimmer. In hindsight he realised how he had floundered for a while yesterday, but now he felt he was getting stronger by the minute, and it made him feel alive and happy.

 

He was just as disappointed as everyone there when 4:30 came 'round and he announced he'd have to go.

'But you haven't played me yet!' a gruff voice complained.

'I'm sorry; I must get going or I won't be in time for dinner.' Mayo explained.

'Oh, is that why you have to leave? Why, we can get you dinner! Can't we, boys?' the owner said. A murmur of accent was heard.

'And anyway, isn't 4:30 a little early for dinner?' the gruff voice reasoned.

Mayo's heart started to sink, he knew where this conversation would lead; they'd want to know where he came from.

'It's an hour and a half walk from here. I have to be there at 6.'

'I can take you in my cab. Where do you need to go?' gruff asked.

Mayo hesitated. This was it, now he'd get thrown out for sure. /Well,/ he thought mirthlessly, /if they throw me out now I'll make dinner on time./

He swallowed down his embarrassment and said,

'Harbour street.'

'Harbour street?,' gruff mused, 'I didn't think there were houses on Harbour street, except... the men's homeless shelter!'

 

Mayo hung his head again. He had known his secret would come out sooner or later, but he had so hoped it would be later. He knew the reputation the shelter had. He got up and unfolded his cane.

 

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead anyone. I'll go and not come back. Goodbye.' He tried to make a graceful exit, leaving before they kicked him out; it had worked for him in the past.

'Hold on a sec.,' Gruff said, 'you haven't played me yet.'

Mayo stopped, he felt a hand on his arm. Mayo flinched at the touch. Usually a touch like that would herald unpleasantness. 'Sit and play and I'll take you home in time for dinner.' Gruff tugged on his arm to guide him back into the chair.

'Are you sure you still want me here?' Mayo asked in the direction of the owner.

'I'm sure,' the man confirmed, underlined by a murmur of assent from the audience. Mayo untensed a bit and retook his seat. He folded his cane again. If he took the man's offer he would be able play another game, and he wanted that so much.

'And tomorrow you're welcome here again, if you want,' the owner added.

Mayo was warmed by the renewed welcome, and now that he had good hope he'd be able to get to the shelter before dinner, he felt less anxious to stay.

 

Gruff, whose name was Kawai, resigned after starting the game with a 5 stone handicap, and got Mayo back in time for dinner. The man had been persuaded to drop Mayo off a block or so away from the shelter. It really wouldn't do if he were seen arriving in a cab.

 

The next morning Mayo spend that extra half hour exploring a new side street in his ever-growing mental map of Tokyo, before setting off towards the area where Heart of Stone was situated.

He arrived at 11 on the dot. The owner was there to greet him and Kawai demanded a rematch straight away, still at a 5 stones handicap. He lost again. Mayo reviewed the game with him, and he had a feeling Kawai would be a little stronger because of it next time.

'Here,' Kawai said and stuffed something in Mayo's hand. Mayo, who expected tea or a cookie; they were always giving him food, felt a piece of paper instead. He rubbed it between his fingertips; it was thicker than ordinary paper, it was money. He used both hands; it was a 1000 Yen bill.

'But Kawai-san, I can't take this.' He thrust the bill out towards the position from which he had last heard Kawai's voice. 1000 Yen was a lot of money, too much for a gift for a person such as himself.

'Yes, you can.' Kawai had moved to the right. Mayo turned in the same direction. Kawai continued, 'You worked for it, you take it.'

'Worked?'

Kawai's next words came almost whispered, from closer by and down like he was bending down towards Mayo, almost invading his personal space.

'500 for the game and 500 more for the lesson. Very fair, I think.' There was a murmur of accent from the others.

With a whoosh Kawai moved again and bellowed,

'Who's next!'

Mayo sat touching the bill, while the other patrons decided between themselves who Mayo was going to play next.

/He had earned this money,/ was the thought that ran through his head. It was the first money he had ever earned. After the disaster of his job of dishwasher, which the social worker had organised for him, and that ended after only an hour, he had thought he'd be forever dependent on charity.

 

Kawai dropped Mayo off near the shelter at 10:45pm.

Mayo had his belly full of food, 4000 Yen in his pocket and his head spinning with the Go games he had played over the past few days. Life was fine.

 

He tapped his way to the building the shelter was at. Curfew was at 11 sharp, so he was well on time. Then he felt a body near him, smelled the stale sweat. /Ijimekko, oh no!/

Mayo tried to turn away from the bully, but felt his left wrist caught in a vice grip.

'Well well, guess who can afford taxi rides?' Ijimekko drawled, then over shoulder he added 'Mushi, shall I dangle him by a foot and see what falls out?'

'Oh do!' Mushi answered from further away in the direction Mayo had come from; he must have walked right past him!

'Oh please, can I help?' The bully's sidekick's voice was getting closer as he moved nearer.

 

Mayo hadn't moved a muscle, stood dead still. He was terrified of these two and desperately tried to think a way out of the situation.

There was just no way for him to fight even one, much less two, he knew that. He could forget about running, he was guaranteed to run head-long into something. With a wave of despair he realised that he would loose all the money he'd earned that day, and if he was very lucky he'd get away with only a minor injury, if...

 

Ijimekko tightened his grip on Mayo's wrist, who winced as he felt his wrist being crushed under the bully's hand.

'So, do you have money, blind man?' He squeezed some more and pain shot up Mayo's arm.

'Yes,' Mayo ground out, trying not to scream.

'Well, hand it over then!' The bully pulled on Mayo's arm again. Mayo dropped his cane, letting it swing from the strap on his right wrist and got his money out of his pocket. Ijimekko dropped Mayo's left wrist and grabbed the bills out of his right hand. Then he grabbed Mayo by the shirt, pulled him up to his face and yelled,

'IS THIS ALL?'

'Yes,' Mayo tried to keep himself as meek as possible, hoping that it would make the bully believe him and let him go. Ijimekko tossed him to the ground.

'It had better be. If I find that you have more...' The bully didn't finish his threat. 'Mushi, let's go.'

 

Mayo heard the men walk off. His wrist throbbed with pain as he awkwardly got to his feet. He stood a moment, getting his bearings. When he had found his inner compass again, he set off towards the shelter. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach; the shelter's 11 o'clock curfew was an absolute. He fiddled with his watch, 11:05. He slipped the watch off his wrist, as it was starting to swell. He put it safely in his bag. He came to the door. Not surprisingly it was closed. His legs began to shake and he sank down with his back supported by the building. He felt his eyes burn with unshed tears. He willed them back; if he started crying now he'd be victimised all night.

 

He had sat there about half an hour, calling himself a stupid fool and feeling very sorry for himself, when there was a noise from the door.

'/Psst, Mayo,/' in a stage whisper. He got up and moved closer.

'/Psst, down here./' It came from the letter box slit in the door. He crouched down by it.

'/Yes?/'

'/It's me, Kuma./' Kuma was the night guard at the shelter.

'/Yes, I know it's you./' said Mayo, having recognised the man's voice from the first.

'/Oh. Okay. Uh. I, Uh./' Kuma was not known for his brains.

'/What is it, Kuma?/' Mayo encouraged.

'/I phoned Uwayaku, and he said I could let you in, seeing you is you, you know./'

Mayo's heart started beating faster with profound relief. Uwayaku was in charge of the shelter, and he was the only one who could authorise the breaking of curfew.

'Oh thank you!'

'/We'll have to be quick, though, don't want to give no others no ideas, you know./'

Kuma fiddled with the alarm, opened up the door, grabbed Mayo by his scuff, pulled him in and had the door closed and the alarm reactivated in less than

4 seconds.

 

Kuma switched on all the lights along their path to light the way to the small office, saying,

'I'm sorry, we've had to give your bed away, rules, you know.' Indeed Mayo did know, they were already making special allowances for him because he was blind. He had a bed every night, whereas the others, if they had no employment, had to stay out two nights after having had a bed for two nights.

'Uwayaku said it would be all right for you to sleep in the office.' He held the office doors open for Mayo, flicking on the light switch in there as well.

'Thank you, Kuma-san.' Kuma gnuffed.

'I'll go find you some of the winter blankets to make a bed out of.' He stalked off.

Mayo sat in the visitors' chair and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

 

 

TBC

 


	3. Blind Luck Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3.

3.

Mayo was already walking in the direction of Heart of Stone at 8 o'clock. He had left the shelter as soon as he could after eating breakfast, which was from 7 till 9. He had desperately wanted to avoid the other men of the shelter when they were kicked out for the day at 9:30. He had slept little, because his throbbing wrist had kept him awake. But he daren't have it seen to at the shelter, as they were bound to ask what had happened, and he knew he was a lousy liar. Telling the truth was totally out: Ijimekko and Mushi would seriously hurt him if he squealed on them. No, he'd have to go somewhere else for help.

He arrived at the building where the Heart of Stone was at 9 am. He decided he could probably get away with sitting down on a bench he had discovered across from the building's entrance, for a while. He carefully unwrapped the dirty T-shirt he had bandaged his wrist with. He touched his wrist gingerly. He had checked for blood and abrasions yesterday; there hadn't been any, or he would have used his last clean underpants from his bag. His wrist felt hot and swollen. He rewrapped it.

He had planned to do laundry, as he always did if had some money. He never used his money to buy lunch, he always saved it for the laundry. He had no more clean clothes left, and if he was going to keep coming here, he'd need to get cleaned up even more than he would have for wandering the streets. Maybe Kawai or the owner would lend him a little for that.  
He hadn't been able to wash himself or comb out his hair this morning either, with his hand like that. He felt dirty and miserable and in pain. He realised that the nice folks at the Heart of Stone might not want a dirty thing like him inside their nice clean club. Feeling almost sick with sorrow over the games he wasn't going to play today, he unfolded his cane and started to get up and walk away.

'Mayo-san! What are you doing here so early?' the owner's voice rang out from a little down the street.

Mayo heard the owner jog up the street. He said nothing. What could he say? He wanted more than anything to play at the club, but he didn't want to impose on the nice man's hospitality too much or he might not be asked back. He felt he should have waited to come here until he had had a chance to clean up a bit, but now it was too late. Now the owner might help him out of pity and then he would politely be asked to leave. No-one wanted a trouble magnet.

'What's this? What's wrong with your arm?' the owner's voice sounded concerned. He touched the wrapped arm and Mayo winced at the pain and pulled back. He felt tears come again and his face heated up with embarrassment.  
'Let me see that.' the owner insisted. Mayo let him take his arm by his elbow and felt the wrapping being removed.  
'Oh god, that must smart.' the owner breathed.  
'Come on, we have to get this tended to. There's a nurse in the other building.' The man started pulling Mayo with him. The young man resisted.  
'Sir, I have no money!' The owner stopped.  
'What about the money we gave you yesterday?'  
The owner's tone changed when he added,  
'You didn't spend it on drugs, did you?'  
'What? No! I have no interest in drugs. They took it from me,' Mayo said, and hung his head.  
'Who are 'they'?' the owner sounded concerned again.  
'The bullies at the shelter.' Mayo explained.  
'Didn't you report it?'  
Mayo got scared and pleaded,  
'No! I can't! I have to sleep there! If I squeal on them they'll never leave me alone!' He lowered his voice and said, 'It was better to give them the money and have done.'

The owner was silent for so long Mayo thought he had left. But then the man sighed. 'Well, I'm not happy about this but have it your own way. Let's get you some help.' Before Mayo could protest again, the older man added, 'I'll lend you the money and we'll work something out. You're getting this seen to, and that's final.'

The owner took him to the nurse in a neighbouring building. She checked the wrist over carefully, declared it probably not broken (but an x-ray at the hospital would tell for sure), gave him some ice packs for the swelling and told them to come back for a proper bandage when the swelling had gone down a bit. She made him take some painkillers and gave him an extra supply of them to take later.

At 11:00 the owner opened the doors to the club, and some of the patrons he had played yesterday greeted Mayo who sat at a game table with his hand resting on an ice pack with another one sitting on top of it. He had tea and as many cookies as he wanted on a plate, provided by the owner.

People inquired after his hand and after he had given a couple of equivocating answers that even sounded lame to himself, the owner stepped in and said,  
'Do you guys want to yammer or play?'  
The questions stopped and the playing started.

Saga and Hachi claimed the first game at the same time. (Both were playing with a 6 stones head start.) An argument was about to start when some-one (a chappie with wheezing breath, Mayo didn't know his name yet, who had played at 7 stones yesterday) suggested Mayo play both of them at the same time. Mayo had no idea if he could do it, but as soon as he started thinking about it, a second Goban appeared in his head. He agreed.  
'Ha! Finally we get to a chance to actually win against the sensei here!' Hachi boomed.  
Both players lost by resignation.

Mayo was rather proud of himself for having pulled that off. Even though  
there had been more background chatter (Kawai seemed to be arguing with the owner about something) than usual, he had been able to visualise both Gobans till the end, without having to verify a single stone's position.

Money appeared in his right hand.  
'Oh, no,' he held it out before him. 'Please, take it back.' he pleaded.  
'You earned it.' Hachi said.  
'That may be, but it'll do me no good...' Mayo sighed.  
There was movement behind his chair. The money was removed from his hand and Mayo breathed out in relief.  
'How's about I keep it for you here? That way you can't get robbed again,' the owner said.  
There were startled gasps of 'Robbed?' from some of the people. A murmur started up. As he felt all eyes upon him, more eyes than he previously supposed, Mayo felt very embarrassed at being seen as an object of pity. There was nothing he could do about it and presently he said, 'Okay,' realising full well he still owed the man a lot more for the visit to the nurse, if the owner choose to keep it as repayment.

'Time for lunch,' the owner announced, and handed Mayo a sandwich. There was murmuring among the patrons about Mayo and his misfortune. He felt his face start to burn with shame, but no-one needled him about it, so he started to suspect everybody had been warned off the topic by the owner. As he forcibly stopped himself from crying in his sandwich, he could only think how he hated Ijimekko and Mushi for destroying his one and only accomplishment, and how he hated himself for being weak and blind and helpless in the first place.

After lunch Kawai came over and said he'd take him to the nurse to get bandaged.  
The nurse was quick about it, and 10 minutes later they were out of the building the nurse's office was in. But instead of going back to the Heart of Stone, Kawai steered Mayo away from the building, holding him by his elbow.  
'Kawai-san! What are you doing? Let go, I want to go back to the club and play!'  
He couldn't shake off Kawai's grip and was forced to go where he was directed.  
'I know a better place for you to play, trust me,' Kawai laughed, 'you want to play strong opponents, don't you?'  
'Well, yes, but Kawai-san, the owner is expecting us back.'  
'No, he knows about this; he agreed.' Kawai sounded determined.  
They had come to Kawai's cab and Mayo was pushed into the passenger seat, the cabby strapping him in as if he were a child. Kawai got in and the car got into motion.  
Mayo still was worried, he didn't know where he was going and, while he trusted Kawai well enough, he knew the man could be unpredictable, if his game style was anything to go by.  
After an indeterminable time of twists and turns, the car came to a stop. Kawai got out and came round to Mayo's side and freed him. Mayo's inner compass righted itself, but wasn't of much help as Mayo had no refrence point here to match to his map.  
'Here we are; come on,' Kawai had his arm again, and he pulled him along almost too fast for Mayo to keep up.  
'Where are we?' Mayo asked.  
Kawai ignored his question in favour of helping Mayo navigate some doors and an elevator.

They came into a space where the familiar sound of go stones hitting wood greeted them. /It must be another Go club,/ Mayo mused, /but with fewer smokers.../ There was carpet underfoot, and it smelled cleaner than the Heart of Stone.  
'Good afternoon, gentlemen, what can I do for you?' The neat voice of a young female came from their right.  
'Two please,' Kawai said and paid the fee of twice 1500 Yen the lady asked for.  
'/Kawai-san, that's too expensive!/' Mayo objected, keeping his voice down. He knew the door fee at Heart of Stone was only 750 Yen.  
'/There are real players here, Mayo-san. These players are a match for you. If we can find them. I don't see him... yet./' Kawai whispered back.  
To the cash girl he said,  
'Is the sensei that I dropped off here this morning still here?'  
'Uh, yes, I believe so.'  
'Could you get him, please?'  
'Uh, I'm sorry, I can't, he said not to disturb him...'  
'Oh? Is that so?' Kawai stepped away from the cash desk, more into the club space, never letting go of the blind man's arm.  
Then he raised his voice, making Mayo cringe,  
'SENSEI, COME OUT!' He stepped forward again, pulling Mayo with him.  
'SENSEI!' The cash girl started to protest.  
He repeated his shout, ignoring her. Mayo tried to get Kawai to let go of his elbow, to no avail.  
This was definitely going to be trouble. At least they would get thrown out together when they were, and that made Mayo feel oddly better.

'What is this racket?' A new voice came from straight ahead of them. It was a male with cultivated diction. 'Oh, it's you, from this morning.' He sounded bored.  
'Well, what do you want?'  
'Sorry to disturb you, sensei.' Mayo was startled; he had never heard Kawai sound so polite. He could even feel him bow behind him. He bowed with him, but kept his mouth shut.  
'But you said this morning you longed for better opponents,' Kawai pushed Mayo forward, 'I brought you one.'  
Mayo swallowed with anxiety at being put on the spot like that.  
A silence fell and he felt eyes raking up and down over himself thoroughly. Then he felt the air move in front of his face. This he recognised: people did this a lot to him; waving their hand in front of his eyes to check that he really was blind. His heart sank.

'Cabby, this man is blind; how can he be a good player?' Mayo did not blame the man for the doubt in his voice.  
'He just played two people at once under a handicap of 6 stones each. He won, of course.' Kawai paused. 'I'm willing to bet my cab he can beat you, sensei!'  
'/Kawai-san, no!/' Mayo whispered pleadingly. He had no idea how good this man could be; betting his cab was too much of a risk!  
There was a silence. From the tension in the air Mayo guessed a staring contest was taking place.  
'Well, well, I think I will take that bet, just to teach you some manners, cabby!' Mayo's insides turned cold; how on earth was he going to deliver on Kawai's boast?

'Okay! What do I get if he wins?' Kawai said confidently as he started moving forward, dragging the blind man with him, following the footsteps ahead of them.  
Mayo tugged on Kawai's arm; he desperately wanted Kawai to shut up before he went too far, if had not gone too far already...  
The pro-player's voice drifted from before them; he was obviously leading Kawai somewhere. Mayo tried his best to hold his footing and keep up.  
'Why, what would you like?' the man drawled, puffing on a cigarette.  
'50,000 Yen.' The footsteps stopped. The man exhaled, and Mayo smelled the smoke cloud as it passed him. The footsteps resumed.  
'All right, you're on.'  
Mayo heart sank into his shoes; how would he ever be able pull this off? He wondered how good his opponent would be.

They made a sharp turn, went through a doorway, and entered another open space. Mayo could hear the bubbles of a fish tank.  
'Please sit,' his adversary-to-be said.  
Kawai guided him to sit on one of the low seats.  
'So, how do we do this? Do you use a co-ordinate system?' The man had addressed Mayo directly, for the first time since he had come into the club.  
'Yes. From left to right, numbers 1 though 19 and then from the bottom to the top again numbers 1 though 19.'  
'I am familiar with that system, yes.' Mayo detected a hint of sarcasm in the mans voice. Mayo knew he couldn't afford to let it faze him. He felt slightly guilty that he was starting to feel a tremendous excitement at the prospect of a high-stakes game.  
'How many stones do you want to place first?'  
Before Mayo could speak, Kawai answered,  
'None. I'll nigiri for him.' Someone grabbed a handful of stones and dumped them on the Goban. (A really nice Goban, by the sound of it.)  
'Are you really sure you can play like this? I will not be made a fool of, you know...' the man was addressing Mayo again.  
He thought of a hundred things to say, wildly varying between 'Get me out of here!' and 'Oh god, yes, let me play, please!', but he settled on:  
'I can play.'

He got white, with a komi of 5.5.  
As soon as the game started, Mayo forgot everything else but the black and white stones on the Goban in his mind.  
It was with only a fraction of his mind that he registered Kawai saying he had to go work, but would be back by 5:30. For a moment he thought that being left here alone was a Bad Idea and that he should protest, but then the thought fled, in favour of developing a new strategy to counteract black's latest move.

His opponent was strong, much stronger than anyone he had played yet. He felt his heart beat faster as he started to think deeper than he had ever dreamt of thinking before. He went all-out to stop the other's attacks, so he could create opportunities of his own to retaliate. He started to feel really electrified when he saw all permutations to the end of the game, and it was white who came out victorious every time. Apparently his opponent had seen it too, and resigned, sounding both dejected and unbelieving at the same time, as he said the traditional words.

Mayo sat back in his chair and exhaled, willing his heart to slow down. Pride welled up inside of him; it felt even better than earning the money had yesterday.  
Some minutes had passed when his opponent said thoughtfully,  
'Over here, why did you...? Never mind...'  
'Where?' Mayo asked, sitting forward in his chair. The man was silent.  
'Where?' Mayo insisted.  
'At 12-17...' the man sounded unsure.  
'Oh, yes, I had planned to take 12-18 and 13-18 later, but then you changed your strategy and I had a more urgent need for 5-6 and 7-6.' Mayo enthused.  
'You knew I changed my strategy?'  
'Why yes, wasn't it obvious?' Mayo now felt less confident. He didn't want to piss the man off, especially because Kawai had run off and he had no clue as to where in Tokyo he was (or if he even was in Tokyo!).  
'I'm sorry,' he said and tried to become very insignificant.

The man was silent for a while and Mayo felt uncomfortable.  
'How do you do that?' the man asked at last.  
'Do what?'  
'Play this,' the air moved, the man must have swept his arm over the Goban.  
'Oh; I see the Goban in my head.'  
There was another moment of silence.  
'Do you still see it?'  
Mayo was perplexed at the question.  
'Yes, of course.'  
'Hold that thought. Stay put, I'll be right back.' the man ordered and he heard footsteps receding rapidly.

He leaned back in his chair.  
His watch read just past 3:30. He let his mind wander over his situation. Kawai had run off, saying he'd be back in time. But what if he wasn't? After all, he had said he'd just take Mayo to the nurse and back earlier, and now he was here instead. What was he going to do if Kawai didn't come back? He could be as much as a 3 hour walk away from the shelter, with no idea in which direction to walk. His always accurate inner compass (a gift he thanked the Kami for every day of his existence) only pointed due North, not in the direction of the harbour. He visualised the map of Tokyo he had constructed in the past year. Where would he be, here, relative to what he knew?

He heard footsteps approach.  
'I'm back,' his opponent announced and sat down.  
'Can you still 'see' the Goban?'  
Mayo called the game back into his mind.  
'Yes.'  
'Can you give me the stones and their positions?'  
Mayo wondered at the man's questions, but made no comment.  
'Yes. Do you want it by grid points or should I replay the game from scratch?'  
The man was silent again for a long moment before answering,  
'Replay, please.'  
Mayo started saying the moves slowly, but as no corresponding /PACHIE/ of a game being recreated followed, he started speeding up faster and faster. Until the man called 'Stop!'.  
'What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?' Mayo asked, genuinely puzzled.  
'I can't write that fast!' the man complained, sounding exasperated.  
'You're writing down the game?' It was a novel idea to Mayo. It was not the idea of writing down of a game that amazed him, but more why anyone would write down _his_ game.  
'Why?' he asked.  
'Because usually I don't lose. And especially not at blind Go, where I'm not the blind player!' the man sounded perplexed.  
Mayo didn't know what to say to that. He decided to let the comment lie and asked instead,  
'What is the last stone you have recorded?'  
'Black 2-5,' the man answered.  
'Okay, next is white 2-4,' he said. Mayo called the co-ordinates more slowly, and now that he knew the man was writing, he could hear the nearly silent sound of the pen on the paper.

After the man was finished with the /kifu/, Mayo got up and unfolded his cane. He really would like to play this man again; it was the best fun he had ever had. But now that he had made sure Kawai would not loose his cab, he decided to leave while he was still able to. He would wait for Kawai outside. He turned to go towards where he knew the exit to be.  
'Where are you going?' the man asked, worry in his voice. /Definitely time to get out./ Mayo thought. It was always bad when people started to sound like that. And there was the money to consider. 50,000 Yen was a lot of money and this man might change his mind about handing it over to Kawai, when he came. Mayo had carefully not mentioned the money, or even his winning. If he could get away unobtrusively enough, this man might not bother to send any of his possibly burly friends after him to beat him up.  
'I should go now.' Mayo announced, that unpleasant worrying feeling inside his belly making itself known again.  
'Your ride isn't back yet; why not play another game while you wait?' The man sounded so reasonable. Oh, how he wanted to play the man again! /Don't fall for it!/ his inner voice warned. By the man's voice Mayo could tell he had moved closer.  
'Sorry, I must go.' He started to walk, knowing that moving was always better then standing still. The man was faster and grabbed him by his left wrist. Pain lanced though his arm and red spots danced in front of his eyes. He legs buckled. The man grabbed him around his waist to stop him from falling.  
'Hey, watch it!' He eased the injured man back into a seat.

Mayo's wrist throbbed as it hadn't done all afternoon. He moaned in pain; it hurt worse now than when the injury has first occurred. He cradled the wrist to his chest, trying to ride the pain out. /Fool! You should have moved faster!/  
'Let me see that,' his former opponent insisted. Mayo really didn't want the man poking at his arm, but he saw no way to refuse him.  
'Come on, I won't hurt you.' the man tried to assure him. Reluctantly he held out his arm.  
The man very gently took his elbow and peeled the sleeve of his shirt away from the wrist. He gingerly felt the swollen wrist, his hands cool on the throbbing joint.  
'Ishikwawa!' Mayo started at the sound of the man's suddenly raised voice.  
'Yes, sensei?' came from the other space.  
'Is Dr. Ishi still upstairs?'  
'Yes!'  
'Call him down here and tell him to bring his bag!'

The doctor examined the wrist in much the same way the nurse had done, with exactly the same results; it probably not was broken, but an x-ray was warranted.  
He rebandaged the wrist and left.  
Mayo cradled his wrist to his chest and made to get up again. He now really wanted to get away from here, before he got into serious trouble. Even his wish to play more Go was starting to lose ground. His wrist throbbed in agreement.  
A hand on his shoulder pushed him back in his seat.  
'Hey, where do you think you're going?' his opponent asked.  
'Please, let me go.' Mayo entreated.  
'No, I want to play you again.' The man was going to be stubborn, this was so not good. 'And anyway, your ride isn't here yet.'  
'Please.' Mayo tried one last time, knowing it was no use.

The man blithely ignored his plea and said,'This time you'll play black.'

* * *

TBC

Oops is that a cliffy?

Please review!  



	4. Blind Luck Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4.

4.

Mayo swallowd and reluctantly started playing. The first few hands he played very slowly, giving himself some extra time to think about his situation. He couldn't run away, or talk himself out of here, but, as the game got complicated pretty fast, maybe he could let the man win so his pride wouldn't be hurt too much, and maybe he would let him go then? But he'd have to be careful that he wasn't too obvious about it.  
As much as the high stakes of the previous game had excited him, this game was soured by the situation Mayo found himself in. He felt sick at having to play like this.

Sometime after the start of the middle game, his opponent started to tense up, Mayo could feel it radiating off him. About 10 hands later his opponent shouted 'No!' hitting the Goban, making all the stones rattle against the wood.  
The man had gotten out of his seat and was standing over him as he snarled,  
'Don't you dare play games with me like that!'  
'I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me again. Please let me go,' Mayo tried again, sliding as far away from the man as his seat allowed. He knew he was entirely at the mercy of this man's whims, so he was forced to await his next action.  
The man was silent for some moments, breathing heavily. Then he said, going back to his seat,  
'I'll let you go if you win from me again, not before.' The man sounded less angry now, but still very determined.  
He wiped the stones off the board and refilled the goke.  
'We'll start again. This time play to win,' he commanded.

Mayo went all out. He knew he was playing with desperation, but he managed to make that into an asset instead of a liability. He pulled no punches, nor let the other get away with anything. Mayo sighed in relief when the man resigned before the start of /yose/.

The man was silent for a long time, and Mayo's worry increased by the minute. What if the man decided not to let him go after all? If there was a struggle, he'd get hurt worse than yesterday. What was keeping Kawai? It must be nearing 5:30 already? He daren't move a muscle, much less grope in his bag for his watch.

Mayo heard light footsteps approach.  
'Ogata-sensei, there you are. You are late for our game...' The voice was that of a teenaged boy. From the prolonged silence Mayo assumed the boy was now also perusing the game on the Goban. He kept himself as small as possible, hardly daring to breathe. He hoped the appearence of the boy might help matters. Maybe the man would be distracted, and Mayo would be able to slip away.  
But even as Mayo thought those thoughts he realised what a pipe dream that was; how could a blind man slip away from sighted pleople in a place he wasn't familiar with?

'Sensei..., is this a recreation? What colour did you play?' the boy asked.  
'White.' the man stated flatly.  
'Who...' the boy hesitated.  
'Who was your opponent?'  
Ogata must have indicated Mayo, because the boy sounded totally unbelieving when he said,  
'Him!'  
Mayo started at the exclamation, gripping his bag closer to himself. The silence seemed to drag on, but there was a odd shift in ambiance when the boy spoke again.  
'Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I am Touya Akira.' The boy sounded very open and friendly, but even so it took Mayo a moment before he realised he was being addressed.  
'My name is Mayo.' He got up and bowed, finding his heart unclenching a little at the mundane ceremony of introduction, even if his inner voice still counseled vigilance.  
In a conspiratorial tone the boy asked, 'Did you really play that?'  
Mayo wasn't going to lie about it, and the appearance of the boy made him feel far less alone and in danger.  
'Yes, I did.' It still tasted sour in his mouth.  
'Mayo-san, I apologise for my behaviour, earlier.'  
Ogata was standing again, the whoosh of air indicating he had bowed deeply when he said it.  
The blind man understood he oblique refference to the way Ogata had stopped him from leaving. He also understood Ogata's wish not to mention the incident in front of the young man who had called Ogata teacher. It would have meant a loss of face.  
'I forgot myself. I, uh, I only do that if my opponent is really strong,' Ogata admitted.  
He was 'really strong'? Mayo was stunned into silence.

'Mayo-san, did Ogata-sensei offer you any refreshments?' the boy asked.  
'Uh, no, we got distracted with the games.' Mayo answered. The anxiety was slowly releasing his insides, making the thought of of tea a more welcome one.  
'In that case I'll get you something. What would you like?'  
'Green tea, please.' He couldn't face anything stronger just yet. The boy's footsteps moved off.

'Again I apologise,' Ogata said, 'and thank you for excusing me in front of my student.'  
'Nothing to excuse,' Mayo said. It was a standard response to the now very polite conversation. But he found he did mean it, and that he wasn't scared any longer; not even his inner voice protested much, now that he knew the man was a teacher.  
'Touya-kun called you sensei; what do you teach?' he enquired politely, not without some curiosity.  
The man gave a laugh.  
'I teach Go.'  
Oh. He had won against a Go teacher, twice. It seemed too unreal to Mayo; he didn't know what to do with the knowledge that he might be stronger than a Go teacher. He tabled his thoughts, as Ogata was speaking again.  
'I'm sorry I forced you to stay. I wanted... I needed to find out whether you winning was a fluke or not.'  
Mayo didn't know what to say to that. He returned to safer ground.  
'Do you want to write down the game?' he suggested.  
'Yes please, thank you.' the man sat down. Mayo followed suit.

About halfway through, Touya arrived.  
'I have tea for you, Mayo-san,' he announced.'Uh, how would you...?'  
'Just touch it to my hand, I will find it.'  
The boy did as instructed while saying,'Careful, it's hot.'  
It was hot but not only that, it was a real earthenware cup instead of a plastic throwaway. Mayo felt awkward, being able to use only his one hand to hold such a nice thing. He sipped it most carefully.  
He continued providing co-ordinates between sips, finding the procces of rerendering the game oddly relaxing.

'Mayo-san?' the boy asked after the game was written down, 'you play the game by the co-ordinates?' The young man had a very polite speech pattern, making his questions, though inquisitive, yet not grating. Mayo was glad to answer him.  
'Not really; I see the Goban in my head.'  
'You know what a Goban looks like?'  
'I think I was not always blind.'  
'You think? How can you not be sure?' Mayo found he wanted to oblige the soft-spoken boy, and told him something he had kept to himself for a long time, because no-one had been interested before.  
'I had an accident and lost my memory with my sight. But I do know what things look like. And colours; I know them too.'  
'So you know the colour of the stones?'  
'Black and white, dark and light, yes'

'Hi all, I'm back, sorry I'm late.' The quiet mood was interrupted by Kawai's arrival. Mayo searched for his watch in his bag. It read 6:15. Well, he could forget about dinner now; all the food was usually gone by 6:05. Mayo felt a rough hand on his shoulder and something was thrust into his hand. It was a wrapped sandwich. He thanked Kawail who acknowledged his thanks by giving him a soft push on his shoulder.  
'And, did you win?' the cabby asked.  
'He did,' Ogata answered for him.  
Kawai said, 'Oh good. Shall we go somewhere to settle this?' Mayo was relieved Kawai was intending to take that discussion somewhere else.  
'All right,' Ogata said and moved away. Kawai moved from behind Mayo's chair, following Ogata. He called back,  
'This may take a while. Play a game with the squirt if you like.'  
A door closed.

There was a audible silence from Touya's direction. /Kawai really does take getting used to,/ Mayo reflected.  
'You don't have to play me if you don't want to,' Mayo tried to soothe him.  
'Oh, believe me, I _want_ to play you.'  
And Mayo found that he want to play too, very much so, and anyone would do, though he had some hope this boy might be good, having been taught by someone like Ogata.  
'All right, set up the board.' He quickly ate his sandwich. It felt disrespectful to the game and his opponent to eat during the game.  
'Uh, do you nigiri?' Touya asked.  
'It doesn't matter to me. Pick a colour.'  
The boy picked black, and soon they were playing.

Touya was not as good as Ogata, but still a lot better than anyone at the Heart of Stone.

Some time during the game, another cup of tea appeared in his hand, and later the empty cup was replaced by a rather big, sweet rice cookie. He thanked the giver each time, but was not able to mark their identity.  
Touya resigned before /yose/.

'Well done, Mayo-san!' Kawai was standing behind his chair again. How long had he been there?  
He felt a piece of paper being placed into his hand. He felt it, it was small, rectangular, not money.  
'What's this?' he asked.  
'A check for 50,000 Yen.' Ogata said, having retaken his seat. Mayo sat up and half turned in his seat.  
'Kawai-san, you can't give me this!'  
'Yes I can; you earned it.'  
'But you could have lost your cab if I had lost!'  
'No chance of that, my friend, I know you always win.'  
Mayo swallowed; he was very flattered at Kawai's confidence in him, but really, what if Ogata-sensei had been a pro instead of a mere teacher? Mayo could have lost Kawai his livelihood!  
Kawai's footspets started moving away, towards the door. Was he leaving? Mayo jumped up and unfolded his cane, having put the check in his bag; he was not about to miss his ride!  
'Wait for me, Kawai-san, I'm coming with you.'  
Kawai must have stopped, because Mayo almost ran into him. He felt the cabby's hand on the middle of his chest.  
'No, you're not.' Mayo's heart started hammering in his throught. Was the man going to abandon him here?  
'You can't leave me here!'  
'Yes, I can. You belong here, not at the Heart of Stone or at the shelter. Owner knows it too.' The cabby lightly pushed Mayo back and walked out of the club with some speed. Mayo tried to run after him, but was stopped by some chairs blocking his way.  
'Kawai!' Mayo was stopped again by a hand on his shoulder.  
'Don't bother; he'll be long gone by the time you get to the street.' Ogata said, using his hand to try to turn Mayo around. The blind man resisted and gripped his cane tighter. It may be that he belonged here, and he absolutely wanted to play these people again sometime; that was not an issue. But to be held here by the simple circumstance of having lost his ride? No, that was no basis for anything but abject humiliation. He was not going to let that happen. No matter how tattered, he had his pride.  
'Ogata-sensei, Touya-san, thank you for the games. I think it is time I went now;, goodbye,' he said and took a step aside to get around the obstruction. Ogata's hand tightened its grip.  
'Where do you think you are going?' Ogata's tone was casual, almost flippant; by contrast the hand on his shoulder was like steel.  
'If I leave now I may make it back before curfew,' Mayo explained patiently.  
'Make it back where?' Touya sounded genuinely interested. Mayo knew that telling them the truth would shock them and, hopefully, make them let him go, thus acomplishing his goal.  
'The men's homeless shelter on Harbour street.'  
Touya gasped.  
Mayo had expected Ogata to take his hand off his shoulder. But he didn't. His hand hadn't even twitched at Mayo's revelation.  
'Why don't you go to a hotel?' the boy asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.  
'Do you want to answer that, sensei?'  
'Akira-kun, they won't take him at a hotel.'  
'Not even with money?'  
'They don't want blind vagrants. Not anywhere.'  
Mayo flexed his shoulder, but the hand stayed stubbornly put. He didn't want to have to fight Ogata again; he knew he'd lose. Despiration was starting to replace exasperation again, and all he wanted was to go to the only place they would take him in, even if it didn't exactly feel like home.  
'Please, let me go.' He cringed at the hopelessness in his own voice.  
'Mayo-san, are you going to take that check with you to the shelter?'  
Oh, bother, he had forgotten that infernal check. Ogata had been right to mention it, Mayo had to admit. He sighed, dropped his cane, turned around, retrieving the check from his bag and thrust it in Ogata's direction, his hand coming to a stop as it hit the man's chest. Ogata let go of his shoulder.  
'Take it back.' It stayed in his hand.  
'No.' Ogata sounded final.  
Mayo put a point of the folded paper in between his teeth and yanked. It tore in two. He dropped the pieces. As they fluttered to the ground Mayo felt safer already.  
'What did you do that for?' the boy exclaimed. Mayo turned to the sound of his voice. He liked the kid, even though he was so innocent. Maybe he liked him because of that.  
'They did this,' he held up his left arm, feeling the sleeve of his oversized shirt drop, revealing the bandage, 'to me for 4000 yen; I don't want to find out what they'll do if they find 50,000 on me. It's not worth it.'  
The boy gasped again. Mayo felt bad shocking him like that, and felt worse for himself that he had had to learn this truth about his life yet again last night. /Stupid, stupid, stupid./

'Be glad I tore it up,' he added, 'they could have hurt your sensei a lot more than they did me, if they had gotten his signature off that check.' He would have laughed at the irony of being better off flat broke, but it just wasn't funny enough to bother. And then, he was sad, because deep down inside he knew he was not going to come back here again, or ever play these people again. Kawai was wrong, he did not belong here, being homeless and broke he was not fit company, especially for a nice boy like that. He turned back to Ogata-sensei and said,  
'I need to go now. Can I borrow 150 yen? Can you point me to the nearest subway station?' He hoped he'd be able to use the subway. In theory he knew every station's name, on what line they were and how the lines interconnected. In practice he had only travelled on the system once, without changing lines, and someone had been with him to guide him at the time.

There was a long silence. Mayo sighed, found his cane again, turned around and took a step towards a door. He'd have to ask a passer-by for directions, and he'd try to bum a ticket at the station. The hand stopped him again.  
'Don't go, come home with me instead.'  
Mayo laughed mirthlessly, 'I couldn't do that.' The idea was ridiculous, not to mention dangerous, for both him and Ogata.  
'Yes, you can. I'm not letting a genius like you disappear into the night!'  
/A genius?/ Mayo was starting to feel sick from too many shocks. For as far back as he could remember, which admittedly was not very far, people had regarded him with anything from biting disdain to someone to be got rid of as soon as they found out where he lived. Nothing positive was ever said to him or about him, from that moment on. Now he had been paid so many compliments in the last few days, it really made his head spin.  
'I'm not a genius for beating someone, even a teacher, at Go,' he dismissed, feeling cold.  
'You are, if you can beat a 10-dan professional player and title holder, playing blind.' Touya stated.  
What? Mayo's stomach lurched. The hand on his shoulder gripped tighter, effectively stopping him from keeling over. Ogata's other hand grabbed his other shoulder and guided him to a seat.  
'I-I-I... I don't know what to say... Are you really a 10-dan?'  
Ogata laughed.  
'I'm really a 10-dan, Ogata Seiji is my name,' he confirmed.

* * *

TBC  
Please review  



	5. Blind Luck Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5.

5.

Mayo sat forward in the seat and ran his good hand through his hair. He felt queezy. He had beaten a high-ranking pro-player. He couldn't wrap his mind around that just yet. What did it all mean?  
'What do you want from me?' he asked at last, deciding that that was really the most pressing question.  
'I want to play you again!' The man crouched by his chair.  
'I want to learn from you. I want to play the perfect game with you. I want to find the Hand of God, and with you I think I just might succeed.'

The Hand of God. The ultimate move. /Kami no Itte./ As he heard the phrase come from the pro-player's mouth, the concept took on meaning.  
'I want that too,' he admitted, more to himself than to Ogata.  
'Well then!' Ogata jumped to his feet. 'How about dinner and a game at my place?'  
'I'm too dirty to go with you.' Mayo sighed. He knew he was whinging and he was very much tempted to just give in. The promise of food and games was almost too good to pass up. But going with this guy was a risk. Mayo realised full well that not going with him might be an even bigger risk; if he didn't make it home in time for curfew he would not get in this time, Uwayaku had made that very clear this morning.  
'A shower, dinner and a game, then?'  
'What about my clothes?' Mayo gave Ogata one last chance to rescind his offer.  
'I have a laundry service in my building; I'll have them washed for you.' Ogata assured.

Ogata was not taking 'no' for an answer, and in the end, Mayo gave in, knowing full well Ogata also was taking a risk in letting a stranger into his own house. Admittedly, what with Mayo's blindness, his risk was minimal, but Ogata didn't know for sure that Mayo was not part of some gang or other.

After a wild car trip they arrived at the door of Ogata's apartment building. By the sounds and scents of the place and the smooth elevator ride, Mayo could tell the man lived in a very expensive building.  
He stopped the pro-player after they left the elevator.  
'Please, show me the stairs?'  
Ogata showed them to him without asking why; maybe he had guessed Mayo's unease with elevators.  
'We are on the 5th floor. Out the front door, turn right; up the block is the subway station.' Ogata gave this information without even being asked. At the mention of the station's name, Mayo placed himself on the extended subway map in his head. He was off the map of streets he had walked before, but he had expected that. He felt better knowing where he was, even if there was some possibly impassible uncharted territory between him and the shelter. He had heard people complain about the practical usability of the subway system and would be glad if he would never actually have to use it. But just knowing where he was already made him feel a lot safer.

As they came into the apartment, the slight scent of stale smoke and the sound of a fish tank met them. Ogata gave him a verbal tour of the place and then a practical one. He switched on the lights everywhere he went.  
'This is the bathroom. May I take your hand?'  
'Sure.'  
Ogata grasped the back of his right hand and touched it to something tile-covered.  
'This is the edge of the bath.' Next was a sliding plastic door. Then his hand was moved to the wall, touching a big knob.  
'And this is the hot/cold dial on the shower. And this switches it on.'  
They turned around.  
'The sink. And here is a ledge. I will put an open bottle of shampoo on it for you: it has a tricky top. There is another ledge inside the shower stall, about your shoulder height. You can put whatever you need on there.'  
He continued showing Mayo around.

'Ogata-san, could I ask a favour?'  
Ogata had made Mayo sit on the couch on a big towel, Mayo guessed to keep his couch clean, a wish he could not really take offence at, while he gathered up supplies for the blind man's shower and sleepover.  
'Uhm? Sure, what is it?'  
Mayo really didn't want to have to ask help with this, but with his hand like it was, he realy had no choice.  
'Could you undo my braid for me? With this hand I can't do it.'  
'Uh...sure, no problem.'

Mayo felt relieved as he loosened the braid from around his waist, under his clothes, and pulled it from behind his neck out of his hoodie shirt.  
'Holy moly, how long is that thing?' Ogata exclaimed.  
Mayo blushed, but didn't answer.  
'Why do you keep it hidden like that?'  
'They might pull on it, use it against me. And ridicule me for having it.' Mayo's embarrassment grew uncomfortable.  
'It's the only thing I have left from before the accident...' he confessed. He had had to fight the social worker who had wanted to have it cut short because of hygene, after he had been given a place at the shelter. Even a year later, the man still checked on his hair's cleanliness every month, threatening to have it cut off if it wasn't clean enough. Mayo always felt totally humiliated by the social worker's monthly pawing of his hair.  
'I see. We'll take good care of it, then. Let me set the shower up for you and then I'll undo your braid.'  
Ogata got to it, matter of factly. Mayo apologised several times for both his hair and himself not being clean. Ogata dismissed each apology firmly.  
The pro-player lent him a pair of pyjamas, and told him to toss his clothes out of the shower-room once he was undressed.  
'Can I have my other clothes washed too?' Mayo asked tentatively.  
'What other clothes?'  
Mayo pulled out his short sleeved T-shirt, two pairs of underpants (one of which was almost clean), two pairs of socks and his drawstring cotton pants, from his bag.  
'This is all.' he announced.  
'Why do you carry all that with you?'  
'There are no lockers at the shelter. As a special favour they keep my winter coat and pants in the office, but they don't want me running in and out of there all the time, so it's permanent storage only. I had planned to do laundry today, but I got distracted...'  
'With a game of Go, I'll bet.'  
'About six games, yes.' Mayo smiled, letting the lie stand.  
'Can I ask another favour?'  
'Sure.'  
'Can I call the shelter to let them know I'm not coming? Kuma, the night guard, might worry.'  
'No problem. Shall I dial for you?'  
'Thanks.'

He stood under the shower, luxuriating in the feel of the water running through his hair. His hand was securely wrapped in a plastic bag, taped off on his arm, to prevent the bandge from getting wet. He was used to five-minute showers, almost not enough time to rinse the soap out of his hair properly.  
He knew his hair was ridiculously long, but he couldn't bear to give up this last link to whoever he might have been once.  
The absence of his past was like a gaping hole in his soul. They had tried finding some one who might know him. He was listed on every missing persons database in the country. But nothing had ever come of it, and pretty soon the authorities had given up and had dumped him on his own at the shelter, with all his questions unanswered.  
His memory of the accident was still pretty hazy, but he remembered he had been looking for someone, just before it happened. Who was it? Where could he be? Mayo was pretty sure it had been a male he had been looking for. A brother, or his father? And why was no-one looking for him? Did they think he was dead? Was someone mourning for him somewhere?  
He knew following this train of thought would lead him nowhere, as it had done each time he had followed it in the last year. But he could not stop from going through the cycle once it had started.  
He sat on the bathtub floor and let the water run over his head, washing away the tears he was not going to acknowledge.  
After he had collected himself he got up and got the shampoo to wash his hair. While he did the most thorough job he had ever had the chance to do on his hair, even if he was reduced to using only one hand, his mind kept going, luckily with a new subject.  
Ogata had turned out to be mostly harmless so far. Mayo could understand the man's passion for the game; he was feeling a profound love for it in himself, and he had only been exposed to it for a few days.  
No, that couldn't be right, he must have loved it in his former life too; he was just too knowledgeable to have been a casual player. So had he been a gifted amateur or even a pro before?  
It was only now sinking into Mayo's brain that if he had been a pro before, he would have been a higher-ranking one. He had beaten a 10-dan title holder at blind Go, twice, once before even reaching yose. If he had been a pro, how could he not have been known?  
How big was the Go world anyway? Would it be small enough that the higher ranking pros knew each other by sight? Very likely.  
No, he hadn't been a pro; Ogata and Touya both had sounded genuinely ignorant of Mayo's ability. So maybe a gifter amateur afterall...  
As his thoughts started to repeat themselves, he realised he had been in the shower a while now, and Ogata might be put out over his water exspenditure.  
He finished showering quickly and dressed in the borrowed pyjamas. He knew he was taking a big risk going with a man he had only met today, and one who had manhandled him earlier too. He decided to be on his guard, even though deep down he felt like it might work out okay in the end.

Mayo was invited to have dinner on the coffee table (Ogata didn't seem to have any other table) while sitting on the couch.  
'I ordered sushi; you'll be able to eat that with your one hand. I hope you like it.' Ogata handed him a big square plate. It was food and there was plenty of it, of course he liked it!

Mayo put the plate on his lap and ate the rice rolls with his hand. He could use chopsticks, of course, but only if he could hold the bowl or plate close with his other hand. Dessert was two painkillers with water, but he wasn't complaining; his belly was nicely full.  
Ogata provided the start of dinner conversation in the form of a question.  
'So, how come you live in a shelter?'  
In Japan, normally family would take care of a blind family member as a matter of course, so Ogata's question was not strange.  
Reflecting on his earlier thoughts, Mayo decided to tell the pro-player his entire story, or the little of it he knew. Maybe, just maybe, this man could get him a step closer to finding his past.

'So you are all alone.' Ogata concluded.  
'Yes.' Mayo said sadly. All alone and with no clue as to, well, anything.  
'Do you think I could been pro Go player before?' he asked tentatively.  
Ogata was silent for a long while, and then, instead of answering the question he changed the subject by announcing, 'I'll make tea so we can play in comfort.' He walked out the living room door and presently Mayo heard the unmistakable sounds of tea preparation from the direction of the little kitchen area Ogata had 'shown' him earlier.  
Mayo sat back against the supple leather cushions and pulled his legs onto the couch. They were clean now, so he figured it could do no harm. He took one of the throw pillows and propped it against the arm of the couch. Maybe he could rest his head for as long as it took to Ogata to make the tea. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. He draped his hair behind him so it could dry better, and rested his head on the pillow. He closed his eyes.

* * *

TBC


	6. Blind Luck Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6.

6.

He came awake with a start. He was still lying on the couch, but a blanket had been draped over him. The apartment was very quiet. His hair was dry. He reached for his bag, which was exactly where he had left it by the couch, and fished out his watch. He opened it - 5:45. The stillness of the place told him it was 5:45 in the morning. He must have been more tired than he had realised. And he must, deep in his gut, not been too worried, to drop off like that. He hoped Ogata would not be angry at the postponement of the game.  
Mayo's bladder made itself known and, with the aid of the information from the tour of the apartment the previous night and his trusty cane, he took care of the problem without too much trouble.  
He went back to the couch after he was done and wrapped the blanket around his legs as he sat thinking for a while.  
He reviewed all the games he had played, giving special attention to the two against Ogata and the one against Touya. The quality of the game-play excited him immensely. Kawai was right, these were better opponents for him than the players at the Heart of Stone could ever be (Even if he was not happy about the way the cabby had left him behind).  
He would love to play both players again. And maybe they knew some others, of a similar skill level, and maybe he'd get to play those too. Mayo smiled as he started to think that things might just be looking up.

Mayo's watch said 7:45 when a awful electronic sound came from the direction of the bedroom, followed by a thump (ending the noise) and some really choice cussing in Ogata's morning-roughened voice.  
Mayo could clearly follow Ogata's track through the apartment. When Ogata ended up at the living room door after a visit to the restroom, he said,  
'Brgh, you're up, good morning.'  
'Good morning, Ogata-san,' Mayo chimed cheerfully.  
'Brgh.'  
Mayo decided to tone down his bubbliness; he knew some people could find it annoying in the morning. It was a fact of life that he unfortunately found out the hard way.  
'I'm sorry I fell asleep and we missed our game last night. We can play as soon as you like,' he offered.  
'Uh, no thanks; too early for me.' Ogata disappeared from the living room. Kitchen noises were heard.

There was a doorbell ring and, after answering it, Ogata came back into the living room and handed him a very neatly folded pile of pristine clothing. 'Get dressed, we have time for a fast breakfast only.' He was gone again. Mayo hoped they'd go straight to the club so they could play the promised game, and maybe, hopefully, a few more afterwards.  
As he heard Ogata being busy in the kitchen, he quicly changed into clean underpants and t-shirt. He couldn't braid his hair, so he used all the hair ties he owned (six, including the totally worn-out one), to capture his hair at intervals. He put on his jogging pants and was wrapping the less-than-satisfactorily-secured tail around his waist, when Ogata said from the direction of the doorway,  
'No, leave it out.' His tone was commanding. Mayo's pride bristled at it.  
'I can't; people will pull it and it isn't very secure this way, anyway.' He continued manipulating the strand of hair.  
'I'll braid it for you later. Leave it out. I'll bust anybody's nose who'd try to touch your hair.' Ogata laughed.  
Mayo bristled more.  
'I don't need your protection! I'll have you know I've been taking care of myself for over a year now!' His hands shook with the sudden adrenaline rush.  
He felt a hand on his shoulder and shrugged it off violently. The hand was replaced as Ogata spoke quite close to his ear.  
'I know that. I didn't mean to imply that you needed protecting. I just want to do what any person would do for his friend; make sure he can go about his way unobstructed and without having to hide himself away like that.' The blind man was still trembling with bottled up rage. That Ogata had called him a friend did not sink in until much later.  
'Please.' Ogata kept his tone sincere and his hand in place.  
At last Mayo exhaled his anger with a long shudder. Ogata's hand left his shoulder, so he could put on his clean hoodie, and he fished the makeshift braid out of the back, dropping it behind him.  
'It really is terrifically long,' Ogata stated.

As the first stop of the day, Ogata took them to the hospital to have that x-ray done. Mayo objected at the cost, but Ogata reminded him the pro still owed the blind man 50,000 Yen from the bet. Mayo wisely shut up, not wanting to start yet another argument.

While waiting after the x-ray had been taken, Ogata braided the young man's hair, as promised. He did an okay job of it too, Mayo was happy to find, when he ran his hand along the result.

After seeing the doctor for the results they were referred to an intern who put a plaster cast on the blind man's wrist and hand and up half his arm. It was only a hairline fracture, the doctor had said, but it still needed a proper cast, or it wouldn't heal right. It had to stay on for 5 to 6 weeks. Mayo was not looking forward to so many more weeks of helplessness.

Next, Ogata dragged him to an eye specialist at the hospital. Mayo again objected, but Ogata overruled him saying,  
'You told me you don't remember what the doctors said about your blindness. You deserve to know what's going on with your own eyes. Suppose something could be done?'  
'That nothing can be done is about the only thing I do know for sure. Please, Ogata-san, let it be,' he pleaded, not being sure he could take any more shocks this week.  
Ogata was a very stubborn man, and 20 minutes later Mayo found himself sitting in a extra padded recliner, while a doctor looked over his eyes. He was asked to keep his eyes open wide and made to rest his chin and forehead against a cold contraption while testing was going on. He answered all questions as truthfully as he could.  
The doctor made one final check. And then he checked again, more slowly.  
'Well?' Ogata sounded anxious. Wasn't it Mayo's part to feel anxious?  
'Young man,' the doctor sounded oddly reproachful, 'you said your friend remembers seeing colours.'  
'Not quite; he knows what they are, like he had seen them before. But with amnesia coinciding with the blindness from the accident...'  
'I see... Or I should say I don't,' the doctor added cryptically. 'Your friend here can never have been a sighted person. He has no retinas. There is no evidence that they were destroyed in any type of accident. There would be scarring and residue if that were the case. No, they were never there to begin with. Birth defect; it happens sometimes.' A swivel chair creaked.  
'Young man, you never saw anything in your life. And I'm sorry to say, I cannot fix what never worked in the first place.'  
Mayo started to tremble.  
Ogata began to question the doctor about transplants, and Mayo let him pester the doctor as much as the pro-player liked. He needed the time to think.  
He had never been sighted? But he remembered what the colour of certain things were, and what they looked like, too. As he touched items he recognised, their picture popped up in his mind just like the Goban had. Was it possible he had just memorised someone's description of the world? /Black and white, dark and light./ Just parroting it back, when appropriate?  
But he was sure he remembered what a Goban looked like. He remembered the colour of the stones and the grooves in the wood, he could see them!  
Was that all lies? Was it his own mind playing tricks on him? If that were so, he could be going crazy. A crazy blind man, he'd be doomed!  
He sighed.  
Crazy or not, tricks or not, he had to live with his own mind, in his own head. If it got him killed or committed, so be it.

'Ogata-san!' he stopped Ogata in mid-rant. 'The doctor is right, he cannot fix what is not there.'  
'I am so sorry, son,' the doctor's tone was sincere.  
'Yes, me too,' Mayo said, hopping off the recliner.  
'Good luck, young man. Feel free to call on me if you feel you need it.' A card appeared in his hand; he put it in the small pocket of his bag.  
'Thank you, sir.'  
'Don't you have a medical bracelet?' the doctor asked.  
Mayo fumbled for his watch; the medical bracelet was attached to it, and handed it over. He had recieved it from the social worker, but hardly ever gave the metal item any thought.  
'You should be wearing it,' the doctor admonished. As if to illustrate, Mayo held up his plastered wrist.  
'Wear it on your other wrist than,' the doc insisted. Mayo's right wrist was grasped and cold hands added the bracelet. The doctor gave him back the watch sans bracelet, and Mayo put it back in his bag. He thanked the doctor again and turned around to go.  
The pro-player's hand was placed on his shoulder, stopping him yet again.  
'Doctor, can you tell us something about his accident? It may not have caused the blindness, but it caused amnesia. So it must have been bad, right?' Ogata was nothing if not persistent. Maybe it was a trait that stood him in good stead in his game play, but right now Mayo wanted to leave; he had just about gathered enough things to think about to last him quite a while.  
'Ogata-san, please.' Ogata shushed him with his hand, grabbing him tighter. Mayo sighed and let Ogata have his way.

The doctor tapped at a keyboard for a while.  
'Here it is. The car accident broke his clavicle.' Mayo remembered his entire shoulder had been in a cast.  
'Hmm, no head injuries. Bumps and scrapes, but nothing else twisted or broken. 'Patient totally confused, tries to run off, is looking for some-one/thing. Sedation needed.' '  
Mayo remembered swimming in a sea of grogginess for the longest time.  
A flash of memory came back to him.  
/He tried to remember who he was to find and where he should go. His mind came up blank./  
He hadn't known anything about anything, then. Not even who he was or where. And it had been so dark.  
/Suddenly a very large, loud object whizzed by his side and someone yelled, '/Baka/, watch where you're going!' from off to his left.  
He yelled back, 'Help, I am lost!'/ After that, the world had exploded in pain.  
Yes, he had been lost and in darkness _before_ the accident, he remembered it now. The revelation made his head spin, and it was again Ogata's hand that stopped him from falling down.  
He was guided back to the recliner.  
'Are you all right?' Ogata sounded concerned.  
'Yes, I'm fine.' Mayo dismissed.  
'You sure?'  
'Please let me take your pulse.' Both the doctor and Ogata had spoken at once. Mayo lifted his good hand, turning it over. A touch of icy fingers found the vein at his wrist and took his pulse. Seconds ticked by.  
'74 beats; he's fine,' the doctor announced.  
'Please, can we go now?' Mayo hated how weak he sounded just then, but he really wanted to leave.  
'Okay,' Ogata sighed.  
'Doctor, thank you.'  
'Go take care of your friend,' he dismissed them.

As a consolation the pro took him straight to the Go club from the hospital, where Touya greeted them merrily.  
'Ah, good morning, Mayo-san, sensei. You're here early; that's not usual for you, sensei!'  
'Grumph.' Ogata said, 'make the most of it, lad, it may never happen again.'  
'Mayo-san, have you come to play?'  
'Yes, I'd love to play!' he chimed, he would have clapped his hands if he could have. Mayo was again amazed at his own joyous feelings towards the game; he must really have loved it before, even if that possibility now seemed to have become impossible in light of the doctor's diagnosis. How could he have learned to play Go at the level he was at now, if he had never been sighted? It was just not possible...  
'Yes please, I would be honored!' Touya sounded ecstatic, distracting Mayo from his unsolvable conundrum.  
'Uh, if, that is, Ogata-san doesn't mind my playing you first? I'm afraid I fell asleep before we could play last night,' Mayo conceded.  
'I don't mind; I need a shot of caffeine first anyway,' his voice drifted from further and further away.  
'Okay, let me set up the board.' Touya moved around him and then guided him to a chair.  
'Two handicap stones?' the boy asked.  
'Sure.'

Touya gave him a good fight, but a two stones' handicap was not enough to equalise the game.  
'Uh, I guess three stones next...' the boy concluded disappointedly, after having lost again.  
He then asked Mayo to explain some of the moves the blind man had chosen to make. And what he himself should have done to avoid the defeat. Also he wanted to talk about game strategy. In short, he asked him to be the teacher.  
Mayo was very flattered and couldn't resist to ask what level the boy was on.  
'Oh, I'm a 4-dan pro,' the boy replied casually.  
/Not again!/ He was easily beating a 4-dan pro with a 2 stone handicap! It made him realise that beating Ogata had really not been a coincidence. If he was that good, was he not missed anywhere? A blind Go genius would be famous, if only for his freakishness, wouldn't he?  
'I'm going to write the kifu now, if that's all right?' Touya asked.  
'Sure; do you want me to feed you the moves?'  
'Uh, yes please,' the boy said.

Mayo heard the rustling of papers being sorted, after he was done with the co-ordinates. Ogata had joined them and the smell of coffee and cookies came towards him even before he felt the tea cup touch his fingers. He grabbed it.  
'Thank you, Ogata-san.'  
'How did you know it was me?'  
'Your gait, the smell of cigarettes and your aftershave gave you away.'  
Ogata ploffed into a chair.  
'Mayo-sensei,' Ooh, that sounded good.  
'I wrote down yesterday's game as well; would you like a copy of both kifu?' Touya asked.  
'No, thank you, I remember it quite well. And anyway, I can't see it, so it's of no use to me.'  
'You remember the game?'  
'I remember all games I have ever played. Which is not so much of a feat, as I've only been playing since Tuesday.'  
Was it only only 4 days ago he had discovered Go? It seemed like he had been playing all his life.  
'I see...' There was more shuffling of papers. Mayo contemplated the boy sitting across from him. A 4-dan pro, but still a kid. So serious about Go, yet so innocent about life. Mayo was again roused, by the boy saying,  
'Do you, uh, can you analyse other people's games?'  
He had to think for a moment.  
'I don't know that I can 'analyse' anything at all. I'm not sure what you mean.'  
'Oh, I mean the way you explained our game just now to me. Can you do that with other games too?'  
'... I've never tried. Do you have another game you want me to explain?' The idea appealed; there would be lots to learn from other people's games.  
'Yes.'  
Mayo noticed there was no shuffling of paper this time; the boy must have had his choice of game ready, before even asking if Mayo could or would analyse it for him.  
'Okay, give me the co-ordinates.' The blind man cleared the Goban in his mind.  
'Opening move, black 16-16, white 4-16, black 17-4, white 4-4, black 6-3...' As the boy ran though the co-ordinates, his Goban slowly filled up.  
After a good six dozen moves, Mayo started to notice something. It was almost as if the next stone appeared before the boy had spoken the co-ordinate.  
'Stop!' he called after the boy had said, 'black 10-4.'  
As he expected, amazing though it was, a white stone appeared after the black. Did that mean...? An odd excitement ran up and down his spine, making him sit up.  
'The next move is white 9-4, isn't it?' Not even waiting for an answer, he plowed on with,  
'And then: black 6-13, white 9-17, black 11-18, white 11-15! I've seen this game before!' He exclaimed, nearly coming out of his seat, his heart pounding. Was this it? Could this tell him something?  
'You may have; I played this game on the internet, some time ago.' The boy's tone was oddly cool, like he was feigning disinterest.  
How could he have seen this before? On internet no less! And yet, it felt more familiar than just any old game...  
'Was I correct?' Mayo asked with emphasis.  
There was a pause.  
'Yes, all correct.'  
'Next move is black 10-18,' Mayo now called out the moves and Touya confirmed them with a crisp 'correct' after every stone.  
'Black 12-9.'  
'Correct.'  
'White 12-8.'  
'Correct.'  
'..., uh, that's all I have.' The Goban was now two thirds full, and the game looked like it was going nicely.  
'That's where I resigned,' the boy said.  
Oh. The blind man looked over the Goban again, automatically assessing the positions.  
'You played black.' Mayo made it a statement; the boy's style was quite recognisable.  
'Yes.  
Mayo's Goban lit up in places, showing him battle formation and attack patterns, planning flaws and strategic solutions, in very quick succesion. But he found he could keep up easily.  
'I see why you resigned; the black formation in the middle is quite dead.' He peered at the imaginary Goban again.  
'And you should have killed the formation started by white at 4-11; why didn't you?'  
'I... I was distracted.'  
Mayo was supprised; what could possibly ditract someone from a game of this quality? Because he could see this was a realy good game.  
'By what?' he asked almost tersly.  
'By trying to find out the identity of my opponent.'  
'You didn't know who you were playing?'  
'It was on the internet; being anonymous is easy there. He disappeared right after that game,' Touya shrugged. Mayo felt a profound disapointment; was this a dead end after all?  
'Did he not have a name?'  
'Yes, he did. It was Sai.'  
/Sai/. For some reason Mayo's insides turned cold, like someone was walking over his grave.  
He felt something prompt him to ask,  
'Do you have other kifu with this Sai playing?'  
'I do.'  
'Can I see them?'  
There was a pause. Mayo tried not to fidget.  
'Sure.'  
'Please.' Mayo gripped his cast tightly in his lap, waiting for the boy to start.

'Black 17-14, white 16-2, black 14-2.'  
'Stop.' It had happened much faster this time. Only 40 odd hands had been played, and Mayo's Goban started to place the stones before they were called again.  
'I know this game, too.'  
'It was on the internet too.'  
Mayo rubbed his forehead. This was more than just some game he might have seen sometime, much more. But when, where, how?  
'Next move is white 17-17, black 17-16,' As Mayo took over calling the co-ordinates, Touya neither objected nor bothered to confirm the hands; they both knew they were correct.

'Black 15-16, white 12-6, black 4-9, white 4-8, and that's all I have.'  
'Father resigned.'  
'Your father played this? He's really good.'  
'I should hope so, he held five titles at the time he played that.'  
So this SAI was really a teriffic player. Yes, looking over the game he could see that: it was almost flawless!  
Mayo's mind's eye was drawn to one corner, though, where black 15-15 seemed to glow faintly. Was there a mistake there after all? He'd have to think seriously about that later. His heart soared at the prospect of replaying this game, and the other one too, in his mind tonight. Oh yes, that would be utter bliss!

He sat back in his chair and gave Touya his full attention again.  
'But he still lost to this Sai? No wonder you wanted to know who he is.'  
'I may have come a step or two closer to finding him since then,' Touya said cryptically.  
'What have you found...?' Mayo was interrupted by someone calling from the main door.  
'Ogata-san, Touya-kun! I'm back! Are you ready for that game?' Footsteps came running closer and the voice, another teenage boy, continued without waiting for an answer,  
'I busted his ass, that uppity /baka/! Do you want to see...?'  
The footsteps stopped abruptly, quite nearby. There was an unnatural pause and then,  
'Sai?'

* * *

TBC

Please review

* * *

notes:

The co-ordinates are from the games, identified by Jan van Rongen and collected on his Friday Night Files pages.  
The last sets of co-ordinates of each game I tried to figure out by myself, as best I could, using the manga for reference.  
Anything I know about Go is thanks to sensei's library. All mistakes are mine.


	7. Blind Luck Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7.

7.

'Sai!'  
And then Mayo was attacked, or he thought he was, it turned out the teen had jumped at him and now hugged the stuffing out of him. Then just as suddenly, he let him go only to grab him by both his upperarms and give him a small shake in time with the rhythem of the questions the kid fired at the blind man.  
'Where have you been? How could you leave like that? Where were you? I looked for you everywhere! I thought you were dead! I was worried sick! How could you do that to me? How...'  
The tirade stopped and the kid let go of his arms.  
If this kid knew something of his past, he could not let him go just like that. He grabbed at where he hoped the kids arm was and manged to take hold of a sleeve.  
'Who are you?'  
'What's wrong with your eyes?'  
Mayo and the kid had spoken at the same time.  
Mayo repeated his question, his heart hammering in his chest.  
'Don't you remember? I'm Hikaru. What's wrong with your eyes? Why don't you remember?' The kid was starting to sound upset again. Mayo held on to the sleeve as tight as he could as the boy seemed to be gesturing wildly with his arms.  
'Hikaru?' Mayo ventured and the kids movements stopped. Hikaru came forward, was he going to attack him again?  
'You do remember!' the voice was elated. Mayo pulled on the sleeve to halt the movement.  
'I'm sorry, I don't. I don't remember anything. Do you... Can you tell me who I am?'  
It was as if all the life had gone out of the arm in the sleeve; it just hung, only held up by Mayo's grip. But Mayo wasn't about to let go. He tugged on the sleeve and pleaded,  
'If you know anything, tell me please!'  
Life returned to the arm and for a moment Mayo was afraid the kid was going to twist the sleeve out of his grasp and run off, but the arm came up and around and a hand gipped his arm strongly.  
'/I think I can.../' the kid whispered hesitantly, '/but not here./' Hikaru tugged on his arm intending him to go somewhere.

'Hold on a sec here,' Ogata interupped. 'Shindou, you've always said you didn't know Sai. What's going on here?' His voice was moving closer.  
Hikaru turned around, keeping his grip on the blind man's arm  
'I, uh...,' He collected himself and tried again, 'I don't think it is any of your business, is it?'  
'Well I think it is, since he is my guest.' Ogata drew a breath to start to speak again.  
'Ogata-sensei,' Mayo interupped, 'did you know that I could be this 'Sai'?' Had the man tricked him into staying at his house, effectively binding him to the Go-pro?  
Ogata exhaled loudly.  
'No, I didn't know. The thought occured but I've never played 'Sai' and there are only a few of Sai's games recorded. I've studied them all, but it's not the same as playing someone, so I couldn't be sure. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you. I only ever thought that you being 'Sai' might be a remote posibility...' he trailed of.  
Mayo was a somewhat mollified but he realised there was another person who he had to ask the same question.  
'And you, Touya-san?'  
'I..., I played 'Sai' only once, three years ago. I have changed since then and so have you. But when we played I felt that same intensity, I felt back then. I admit I showed you those games to see if you recognised them. Please forgive me for my subterfuge, I was hoping it might trigger your memory.' The change in sound quality let Mayo know the boy had bowed when apologising.  
Mayo didn't know what to think. Was he this 'Sai' or wasn't he? He was holding on to the only person who could tell him that.  
'Shindou,' Mayo started.  
'Hikaru! You always called me Hikaru,' Hikaru interupped.  
'Hikaru, please tell me what you know about me. Am I 'Sai'?'  
Hikaru was silent for a long moment but made no effort to untangle himself from Mayo.  
The kid exhaled deeply and said,  
'Yes, you are Sai.'  
It felt to Mayo as is he could feel the earth spinning on it's axis and it was going much too fast to keep up with. He let go of Hikaru's sleeve and sank back in his seat. The kid's hand slipped off his arm.  
He was 'Sai'. He had an identity, one that was known to others. He was somebody after all.  
Than a thought occurred. Did he have a past? Did the kid know his past?  
'Hikaru?' He reached out to find the arm again, Hikaru took his hand instead.  
'Yes?'  
The blind man sat forward.  
'Tell me everything, please!'  
'No here,' the kid repeated his earlier statement.  
Mayo, who was both elated and befudled to realise he'd have to start thinking of himself as Sai now that he was not Lost anymore, got up from his seat, the kid following him, moving his hand to Sai's arm to help him up. Sai turned towards where he knew the door was, unfolded his cane and said,  
'Outside will do, come on.' He was about to start walking when Ogata interupped by saying,  
'Sai-san, we have private meeting rooms here, it'll be more quiet then going outside. You're welcome to use one.' Ogata sounded sincere enough to Mayo.  
'Hikaru?' he asked his confidant.  
'Yeah okay, thanks, Ogata-san,' said the kid.

'All right then, follow me.' Ogata's footsteps were easy to follow. Mayo tapped his cane in a wide arch, to avoid tables and chairs. Hikaru had latched onto his left elbow, which he had grabbed as he had helped Sai up.  
Ogata showed them into a small sounding room.  
'There is a big table in the middle of the room, with about a dozen chairs around it,' he said.  
'Sai-san, no matter what you may learn here, or whatever your past is, I still want to play you and so does Touya-kun. You'll always be welcome here.'  
Mayo felt gratefull fot Ogata's words. He didn't know what Shindou would tell him, but it would change his life forever, he knew that for certain. Ogata had offered him a haven, no matter what Mayo could always find a home in Ogata's (and Touya's) Go.  
'Thank you.' The door closed.

'Sai!' the kid exclaimed, 'What happened to your eyes?'  
'They say it's a birth defect. Tell me, was I always blind?'  
'God no, you could see as well as anyone!'  
That made no sense, how could he both blind from birth and have had vision at some point too? Sai was starting to get exasperated.  
'Hikaru,' he used a firm tone, 'please tell me what you know about me.'  
'Now,' he added, as there had been a long silence from the kid.  
Chairlegs scraped over the floor and the kid sat down heavily.  
'Your name is Fujiwara no Sai.'  
That was an odd way to be named. Why not Fujiwara Sai? Why state so deliberately that he was Sai of the Fujiwara clan?  
'And I am the Sai from the internet.' Sai prompted.  
'Yes.'  
'And you knew me? I understand that Sai was very mysterious.'  
'Yes, I knew you.'  
'So tell me!'  
'I... Sai, the story..., it's kinda unbelievable.'  
The blind man didn't like the sound of that. But the prospect of not knowing after all he had been through was worse.  
'I still need to know. It may trigger my memory. And even if it doesn't, I want to know my past; I want to who I am, how I got here.' Yes, anything he could learn was better than the nothing he knew.  
'I don't know how you got here, but I can tell you what I know of your past. But you must promise to hear me out.' Sai didn't like that; he was effectively being held to ransom for information about his past. He had no choice but to agree.  
'Very well, I will.'

The kid proceeded to tell him a truly unbelievable story, full of ghosts and Go.  
But Sai, no, 'Fujiwara no Sai', formerly the ghost of a Go-loving noble of the Heian period and now no longer Lost, did believe it. Every word the boy uttered gave him a brief glance of things he could not possibly have either known or seen. The glimpses were gone almost as soon as he saw them, but they gave him proof as to the truth of the story.

'And then you disappeared,' the kid's tone had slowly gone up as he had been telling the story. 'And I l-looked for you everywhere. I even went to Hiroshima to Shuusaku's shrine. There is a museum there now. I stopped playing when I looked at your Shuusaku kifu, you were so brilliant! I missed you so much...'  
Is this why he came back to life? Because of this kid's pain?  
'Thank you for telling me,' he ventured. He was glad to know the story, his past, however weird it had turned out to be.  
'You believe me?'  
Sai said, 'Yes, I do.'  
Hikaru's story was utterly unbelievable, none the less he was forced to believe it. It explained a lot, but not how he got to be here. Would he ever find that out?  
The kid hugged him tightly from his seated position, then quickly let go again.  
'Well, I guess I'm happy you're back,' the kid sounded embarrassed. Not too surprising, he was only 15 or 16 years old; embarrassment comes easy at that age.  
'So what happened to you? Why are you blind?' The kid asked.  
Sai knew he had been ignoring Hikaru's repeated question long enough. He might not remember this boy or what it had been like to haunt the kid for two years of his young life, but Sai felt he owed him something, because of the friendship they used to have.

Sai told him of the accident, the now modified version, where he was blind and without memory before getting hit by the car. He told him about his hospital stay and the shelter, about all his wonderings around Tokyo and of finding the Heart of Stone.  
'I know that place! We went there with a few of my friends to play more mature opponents, rougher ones too. You see, I got thrown a curve ball by an older opponent in the pro-exam prelims and lost. So my friends took me there to learn to deal with types like that.'  
For a split second Sai saw the interior and the people at the Heart of Stone. He couldn't keep the image, but he knew would cherish the moment forever.  
'They let me, a blind man, play there.' He felt his eyes tear up. 'And they gave me money for playing, too. Then Kawai brought me here, after I was robbed back at the shelter, and he left me here. I slept over at Ogata-san's place last night.'  
'Yeah, Kawai is tricky. You can sleep at my place, anytime!'  
'Won't your parents mind you bringing home a stranger?'  
'Uh, I guess... I'll get a place of my own and then you can stay with me!'  
'Hikaru. How old are you?'  
'16. Well, almost.'  
'You are too young.'  
'Sai, I'm not letting you disapear again, not again,' the kid sounded adamant.

All of a sudden everybody seemed to want him; he wasn't used to that. He needed time to think, desperately.  
He had here both things he had always wanted; the one he had been looking for all this time (he was sure this boy was the one), and his past, or at least as close as he was likely to get to it. The fact that his past resembled a fairy tale detracted nothing from the validity of it.  
Maybe he had traded his sight for the chance to come back, to some demon in hell. Maybe the demon cheated him, as demons in fairy tales are apt to do, and took his memory as well. He would never know for sure.  
He did know that he was no longer alone and deemed worthless. Touya and Ogata wanted to play him and Hikaru wanted his companion back. Sai could be what they wanted, he felt sure. And what did Sai want? He only wanted to be play Go and be happy. Now it all seemed possible.

'Hikaru, thank you for telling me about myself,' Sai said. He fell silent after that.  
'Sai, what are we going to do?' came the boys tentative question.  
Do? Ah yes, they had to decide that, hadn't they? Sai haltingly started to outline their options aloud, as they came into his head,  
'We... we can't tell anyone, noone would believe us...'  
The boy made an assenting noise.  
'But... I don't think I can lie very convincingly,' Sai admitted.  
The boy agreed again. 'And lies can be found out,' Hikaru added.  
'But on the other hand, I can keep a secret.' Sai pondered.  
'And so can I,' Hikaru piped up.  
'Yes.' Sai let the pros and cons run through his head.  
Telling the truth was out. Lying was out. But if they both refused to say anything, people, most notably Ogata-san and Touya-kun, would be suspicious. Of course, if these people then tried to find out the truth, they would get exactly nowhere, since Sai's previous life was only knowable and known to Hikaru. (Sai almost shocked him self again with his own believe in Hikaru's fantastical story; impossible as it was but true none-the-less.)  
They might get very frustrated, maybe even angry, if they kept finding exactly nothing. That might be bad. But the consequences of being found out if they started lying might be worse. And if they told the truth, Hikaru and Sai might find themselves locked up in a looney bin. No, thanks!  
No, Sai, in his life as Mayo, had always fared best by lying low and keeping silent. The lying low might be dificult now, unless Sai disapeared from Tokyo, never to return, and he had no desire to give up his one chance at having a life with friends and maybe, just maybe, a job as a Go instructer. No, lying low was out.  
But keeping silent he could do, and even though Sai had really met Hikaru less than an hour ago, he felt very sure Hikaru knew how to keep his mouth shut, too.

Thus resolved Sai said, 'Give me your hand.'  
A smaller hand gripped his right hand firmly. Sai gave the hand a single firm shake.  
'We should make a promise never to talk to anyone but ourselves about my past and your connection to it.'  
'Sai, are you sure...' Hikaru's voice trailed off.  
Sai shook the hand again.  
'Yes. I see no other way, other than me disappearing again.'  
Hikaru's tight gripp nearly crushed Sai's hand.  
'No! No, I'm not letting you go!' He sounded frantic.  
Sai touched his plaster wrapped hand to Hikaru's, as it gripped even tighter. He let his fingers gently soothe the upset boy.  
'Don't worry so, I'm not going to disappear; I don't want to leave, I want the life I can have here, playing Go with you.' Sai felt a prickle of tears and this time he let them fall.  
After a long moment the crushing grip eased, and Hikaru gave their three hands another firm shake.  
'Okay. Thank you. I want that too.' came the watery words.  
They stood like that a minute more, before letting go.

Just before they left the meeting room, Hikaru whispered,  
'/I'm so glad you're back./' He pushed the chair back under the table as Sai opened the door. '/And I'm so gonna totally beat you at Go, some time soon!/'  
'/You can always try,/' was Sai's answer, as he navigated the doorway and was ready to field any and all of his new friends' questions.

Epilogue  
5 years later

Mr. Sakana signed into to the reg. book of the Touya Go club, eagerly awaiting his tutoring session with the famously mysterious blind Go player Sai.  
Mr. Sakana was directed upstairs to a lounge type area, where only one cluster of seats was situated in the middle of the space. He recognised Fujiwara from his photo in Go Weekly. He was a young man, about 30, slender, good looking. The two things that struck him most were the ridiculously long braid that lay over one shoulder and the odd black eyes. The man's gaze was unnaturally unwavering and he only moved his eyes after hearing speech, or towards some other distinctive sound.  
The blind man was surrounded by people Mr. Sakana also knew from Go Weekly. There was Ogata Meijin, Touya Akira 7-dan, his father, the former Meijin, Isumi 4-dan and Shindou 5-dan. All wore western style business clothing save the Meijin, who wore a more traditional Japanese outfit. The younger players did not wear suit jackets, and Mr. Sakana could not blame them, for it was quite a hot day. Shindou 5-dan wore his shirt open with a yellow T-shirt with a large black 5 on it peeping out.  
Tea, coffee and a platter of cookies had been laid out on the big round table that also held four Gobans.  
'Ah, Mr. Sakana!' Ogata stepped up to the Tokyo business man. He swept his arm in the direction of some empty seats.  
'Please sit; would you like some coffee or tea?'  
'Green tea, please,' the man replied, slightly surprised at the informal welcome.  
He sat and Ogata got him his tea. Sakana saw that Ogata also got tea for Fujiwara, touching the cup to the blind man's palm. Fujiwara closed his hand about it and brought it to his mouth to sip the tea, without acknowledging Ogata or even interrupting the soft-voiced conversation he was having with the younger dan players and the former Meijin.

'Are you ready to play?' Ogata prodded the group gently.  
The conversation stopped and Ogata introduced Mr. Sakana. Fujiwara rose and bowed, saying,'Welcome to my little circle here. Have you met everyone here before?'  
Mr. Sakana bowed and replied, 'I have not, but I know who everyone is from their pictures in Go Weekly.'  
Fujiwara sat back down, as did Sakana. The younger pro players also sat, as the former Meijin and Ogata excused themselves.  
'Touya-kun, I want to see the kifu later,' Ogata said before walking off.

'Okay,' the blind man started.  
'Let me explain what's going to happen. Mr. Sakana, it's your first time here. I understand you have been informed as to how I am able to play?'  
'Yes, sensei, I have practised playing using the co-ordinate system for the past week; it should be no problem.'  
'Excellent!' A genuine smile appeared on the handsome face, making it almost beautiful, if it hadn't been for the sightless eyes.  
'Is everybody sitting at a Goban?' Some of the seats were repositioned.  
'Ready,' Shindou announced.  
'Mr. Sakana, you and I are going to play shidogo, while I play everyone else at the same time. What handicap do you play?'  
Mr. Sakana was shocked. The blind man was going to play four at the same time, one of which was shidogo? And he wanted to know at what handicap?  
'Uh, Ashiwara-sensei recommended I ask for 6 stones...' his voice trailed off when he saw the pro players put 3 black stones each on their Gobans. He swallowed.  
'Uh, I think I'd like to place 8 stones, please.'  
The blind man smiled again, and Mr. Sakana was starting to get used to the odd gaze.

'I have all the corner star points except 16-16 covered,' Touya announced.  
'Me too,' Isumi said.  
'All but 16-4,' Shindou added.  
'You don't have to tell me that, you always set up that way,' Fujiwara laughed. Shindou looked mock-hurt.  
'And you, Mr. Sakana?'  
Sakana quickly played his 8 in a perfect square.  
'He has all the star points except the centre one,' Shindou answered for him.  
'Okay then, let's play;' the blind man bowed his head to signal the start of play.  


* * *

~The end~  


* * *

notes:  
Okay! That was a lot of fun to write!  
Well, except for the bit where there was a whole segment of this chapter missing and I had to scramble for back up version, moments before I had to upload! I'm SO glad I re-read it before upping!

I do have ideas for a sequel, there is a lot more to be said here...  
I don't know if anyone wants to hear more, please let me know if you do. Or even let me know if you liked it. Or if there is something you'd like to see in the next story.  
Remember: reviews &amp; comments are the only 'payment' a fanfic author recieves...  



End file.
